Wife: "Do you think I'm fat".
What I want to say: "Your a fucking whale, the only reason I stay with you is your good at ironing"
What I actually say: "Your TV programs about to start"
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Wife: "Why don't you put your dishes away after you, honest to god!!"
What I want to say: "Because if I leave it somewhere stupid I know it will annoy you, and besides leaving a cup on the table for 10 minutes ain't killin' nobody".
What I actually say: "I'll remember for next time."
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Wife "Why don't you ever take your mobile phone with you?".
What I want to say: "What if you phoned me when I was with a hooker?"
What I actually say: "It's charging"
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Wife "How was your day".
What I want to say: "Woman I am man service me."
What I actually say: "Not bad"
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Wife "I'm going to see my friend tonight".
What I want to say: "The fat one, the ugly one or the fit one that definitely fancies me"
What I actually say: "Have a nice time"
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Comments
sylviec | December 23, 2010 - 09:15
sylviec an interesting perspective for a completely misogynistic male attitude even down the the title using the term ' the wife' an interesting study in the appalling level of relationship intelligence between couples that mirrors a social attitude which still prevails - i don't like it as a piece because i find it uncomfortable to read and think that men still treat women like that but it is extremely illuminating in a few short words
Geertje Jong | January 19, 2011 - 17:05
I only have one question
Why are you still with her?
Geertje
d.best | September 8, 2011 - 11:36
My wife doesn't do half this stuff, its based more on an ex. I wanted it to be uncomfortable, sometimes funny and a chauvinistic view of my current/past relationships. So whilst its true-ish I have embelished a whole lot.
If I talked to anyone like this they'd probably punch me out everyday.