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I must I must be good

Posted by darkoe2lh2k on July 26, 2010 - 06:56

tidy up the kitchen
tick tock does go the clock
I must..i must
be fast..the door will soon
go knock..
That's if I am lucky..
gives me a little time
to hide behind the sofa
and all be just fine
I don't want war's.. Pls keep the peace..
will he sleep..
Hope he's not got his key
no time to run and hide
my heart is beating like a train
iv'e butterflies inside
will he let me eat..
just ave a little sleep
maybe he will show me love
as long as I behave
after all he is the my dad
I must..I must be brave.
I hear him coming down the path
his key goes in the door
I hear him swaying hit the ground he's on the stone cold floor
He's had to much...and here we go
Dear daughter I am sori
when pay day comes..just give me luv
Iv'e promised you that dolly

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Comments

darkoe2lh2k | July 26, 2010 - 06:57

dd

insertponceyfre... | July 26, 2010 - 11:45

darkoe I like the way you've made the rhythm of this poem match the kind of panicky thoughts you describe - It's very well done, incredibly sad though.

It would definitely be worth going through to sort out the typos if you have time

darkoe2lh2k | July 26, 2010 - 19:05

Oh thanks that would be wonderful

darkoe2lh2k | July 26, 2010 - 19:05

dd

darkoe2lh2k | July 26, 2010 - 20:23

I always have time

skinner_jennifer | July 27, 2010 - 22:40

Hi again darkoe2lh2k
This story is slightly disturbing, but good all the
same. I hope the child is okay in the story and does
not come to any harm.
Jenny.

darkoe2lh2k | July 29, 2010 - 02:13

wait and see jen tough kid this girl hope its not upsetting you do not worry she is strong ahh is it ok? have you ever read the book called ..A child called it, a man named dave? true story very very sad but this lil boy was a brave lil soldier everything turned round in his life strong man couragious loving ahh not saying no more, if you like fact reads this I found was one of the best books that I have ever read, also have you read The Virginia Andrews, Flowers in the attic and the sequels A+1
ty for getting back to me

darkoe2lh2k | July 29, 2010 - 02:14

dd

Keiko Shizuru | August 1, 2010 - 13:00

I like this one. Freaky but interesting. And I like the rhythm of the words.
Cheers!
keiko

darkoe2lh2k | August 10, 2010 - 01:26

thanks