a lack

on the outside
s/he appears to be
altogether sound,
with all the proper
pieces fastened together
in order to keep
the whole of
his/her personality in
tact---
on the outside s/he
can smile, laugh,
make witty conversation
& appear as if
with overwhelming
joy, s/he could light
up a room---
but there is something
wrong---has been for
quite a long time &
of its origin, s/he has no
idea (but it is winning).

these days there is a
lack of ability to get close,
a lack of ability to extend
oneself out to others in
the way that a “friend” might,
in the way that one might
if they were not hiding anything---
the difference is that
s/he has begun to hide it
all, s/he has begun to die
inside & wants absolutely no one
to know.

doctors may talk of
“attachment issues,” but this
doesn’t help the present---
for doctors do not walk in the
shoes of the suffering,
doctors do not know the
experiences in one person’s life,
they only read about them &
even those who have had their own
individual experiences
cannot compare them to all
whom they meet, attempting to
fix the world,
one broken, fading, wreck of
a life,
after another.