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Whitstable Fish Market

Posted by Doeslittle on May 10, 2008 - 17:53

The concrete floor was wet, its smell sliding down drains,
We bought inked out squid flaccid in metal dishes,
Dense fillets of salmon and shellfish that rattled
Knock-knock up against each other in the bag,
We pointed at the military lines of lobster claws
Laid out on display, the bearded monkfish General
On watch, grimacing on chips of ice. Scooped up prawns
Like whiskered spectators in disarray on plastic perches.
Outside you bought cockles and whelks and chewed
Them sinewy and stringy under the vinegar soaking,
Off the docks children jumped shrieking, as we voiceless,
Clacked onto pebbles negotiating
The beach walk home, we would be quiet later, reverent
Over spoonfuls of bouillabaisse, you would pat my hand,
Thank me, I would wonder how many more days we might
Notch up in knots, like an abacus for counting, one more,
Narrowing of the mind into a concentrated dot, a pin,
One more for the record, of breathing out and breathing in.

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Comments

Ewan | May 11, 2008 - 08:29

Vivid, liked the military image of lobster claws and monkfish General (I think I met a General Monkfish in my former life :-))

A tightly tidy poem; one quibble about line one; I stumbled over it at 'wet,smell'. Maybe
'its smell sliding down drains,' ??

I could hear all the sounds: clacking shrieking breathing and especially the knock-knock of the dense fillets.

Very, very nice.

keleph | May 11, 2008 - 11:09

yep, i really like this too. it keeps the great descriptions and imagery but also goes much deeper than before. i love the ending and for me there are two interpretations: an existential boredom with life, or a tiredness and winding down of a relationship.
both work very well.
thanks

Doeslittle | May 11, 2008 - 20:57

Have changed it, may have to look at it again. Thanks for comments and keleph, actually that's the one thing I was worried about - its ambiguity and wasn't sure if it worked or if the imagery at the start suited its ending...I am still thinking this one over.

Alaw | May 12, 2008 - 20:58

I don't think it's ambigiuous. I think it's lovely. I really love the final line. I think it's my favourite of yours.

paulycannon | May 13, 2008 - 09:20

nice metaphors, like the thoughtfulness of this poem, it is fascinating watching the sea-characters lined up on their death-row of ice! keep on imagining...