Cactus

Lovely stuff once more from you, particularly liked 'scarred by clouds etc' and 'fettered symbiosis'.

Not entirely convinced by 'ant-trepid': if it were my poem it would be an expression I would have had in and out of the piece umpteen times. I might even be tempted to invert to 'ant-trepid, I', but I'm not sure that doesn't throw the scansion/rhythm out.

I would choose a different title too. 'Cactus??' or something much shorter anyway.

Super poem... again!

Ewan

Thanks Ewan. I think you're right. I put them up as first drafts and whenever I do that they need changes. I will ponder and edit.

Very strong piece throughout, but the ending packed a powerful punch - nice, nice wrap-up. Also loved 'water truth'.

I must say that this author perhaps 'does little' but she does it superbly. Another gem in her relatively short, so far, collection. Thoroughly enjoyable.

Ditto all the above - love the analogy

Thanks for all the lovely comments. :)

scarily good, 'we too show our age
With a growing vulgarity; ' is far too close to a feeling i am having right now. i love the honesty, unblanching as it is, with which you write, unless you make it all up, which you do in one sense. Anyway, the truth is out there, and you keep pulling it in and redressing it! Beautifully done.

'You speak in homespun yarns that loosen
The night sky'

awesome use of the metaphorical

What was the original title?

Original was 'You are a cactus of a religion to me' (If I remember correctly, but I changed it as soon as Ewan said it though as it was far too long as a title.)