Plot Idea. Woman Gets Onto Bus

Plot idea. Woman gets onto bus

The title this week is from a Lorrie Moore short story. I’ve been reading her, sitting in bed this morning. I wasn’t put off by Adam Mars Jones’ review in the Guardian or somewhere. He criticised her introduction to her own stories. What’s that all about? You can’t even introduce your own stories in the right way these days.

I read there, or somewhere else, that she was influenced by Woody Allen. And she is, no doubt. She’s funny.

“A self-described ‘ethnic Catholic’ he once complained dejectedly about not being cute enough to be molested by a priest.”

Woody Allen is one of my favourite funny people. But you don’t seem to see many of his films on tv these days. Perhaps part of the backlash against him. I try and save my moral outrage for things that are morally outrageous.

Dropping uranium depleted weapons on Iraq. Fifty per cent of the world’s household wealth being held by two per cent of the population. The fact that my oven just seems to take forever to heat up.

“After fifteen minutes he knew that this was the woman he wanted to marry. After thirty, he didn’t want to steal her purse.”

Plot idea. Man buys a mobile phone.

I received yesterday the cd of my Radio 4 story, ‘Teeth’. It’s brilliant. I listened to it five times and it made me laugh.

“It’s me gums!”

Lines that weren’t funny when I wrote them are funny because of the timing and delivery. Am I allowed to like something that I am part of? Or should I be like all the actors, ‘Oh no, I don’t watch myself.’

As if, I think. Dame Judi Dench no doubt has a private cinema in her house showing back to back reruns of A Fine Romance. She sits there gin in one hand, fag in the other, thinking, ‘Those were the days’.

Plot idea. Monkey invades Latin American country with a hairbrush and a band of revolutionary former Big Brother housemates.

The first reviews are also starting to appear for Me and Mickie James. There’s a nice one here on Chroma. And I am in this month’s Dazed and Confused, page 44 if you happen to be drifting past WHSmith on your lunch break.

I liked the D&C article about me. I was worried about it, what the picture would be like and about what I said. But it’s nice. That’s another thing people say, “I don’t read reviews”.

I am always googling myself. Well, not myself, just my name. Because none of these things seem to be about me, not really. The real life is feeling tired because I’ve been at work all week. I need to go to the gym in a bit, and the tennis is on tv, then later the football. Come on Czech! And I have to go shopping. There are more Lorrie Moore short stories to read and the ten other books, more! waiting to be read by the side of my bed.

Plot idea. A world is formed and life begins.

Currently reading - Lorrie Moore, The Collected Stories. Read Debarking

Currently listening to - Coldplay, Viva La Vida