The first thing I notice
Are her tiny hands.
I imagine, in more genteel days,
these wrapped in lace gloves,
holding a matching fan,
waving comely glances
to frippery’d men of means
in the hope she’ll capture one.
Instead, between her fingers
is a cigarette she uses
to exclamation-point ash into the air
as she spits words
from her angry slash mouth,
while her eyes throw dares
of ‘what the fuck are you looking at?’
to anyone passing by.
She is beauty made ugly
by time and circumstance;
a penniless princess
out of sorts, luck and manners.
Instead of using her talents,
she uses her flaws as claws,
to scratch, slap and gouge
a life out of this age of indifference.
Comments
MistakenMagic | March 16, 2009 - 22:09
'Instead, between her fingers
is a cigarette she uses
to exclamation-point ash into the air
as she spits words
from her angry slash mouth,'
- I love these line Dynamaso and the last stanza was perfect! Excellent poem ;)
Magic xxx
Dynamaso | March 16, 2009 - 22:46
Thanks very much Magic. Glad you enjoyed this. I noticed a BIG error in the last stanza and (scratching my head and wondering how I missed it in the first place) I've corrected it now. I hope you find it as effective. Thanks again for reading and commenting.
threeleafshamrock | March 17, 2009 - 13:48
This is like a picture in a gallery D. Like Magic, I thought the last stanza was brilliant...overall a class piece of work - one I'll come back to again!
Chris
Dynamaso | March 17, 2009 - 20:45
Chris, this is the first time anyone has used the word 'class' without the suffix 'less' regarding anything I've done hahahahaha... Thanks very much, mate.
jennifer | March 18, 2009 - 13:10
Superbly captured,
loved
'Instead of using her talents,
she uses her flaws as claws,
to scratch, slap and gouge
a life out of this age of indifference.'
Yes, I despair of some of my students ....but then, you imply the only point of beauty is to attract men..how very....errr simplistic? naturalist? masculine? of you....
I agree that the lady you depict is ...less, but also would like to state that a lot of men are intimidated by strong women who don't necessarily conform to their idea of femininity!
I'll shut up now...the poem is superb.
hehe
J x
Dynamaso | March 18, 2009 - 23:04
Jen, I'm pleased this inspired your comment. My type of woman is strong, intelligent and independant (just like my wife). But crassness doesn't necessarily equate to strength.
I think it takes lot more courage to be a gentleperson these days, as it often leads one open for much ridicule. My wife, while being one of the strongest, most intelligent people I've ever met, is also very much a lady, in the truest sense. Unfortunately, there are not too many around these days. The ladette factor is very high here too.
jennifer | March 19, 2009 - 12:22
I think there are far fewer gentlemen these days too...
I think I bounce between the two...lady and ladette... society controls our preconceptions of gender so much. And then, too, it entirely depends on circumstance. If I was genteel in my teaching, I wouldn't get very far with my students, so I am loud and larger than life. In a rock club, I dance erratically. On the other hand, put me in a posh frock at a dinner table and you might be sitting opposite a Countess d'Elegance...
J x
Dynamaso | March 19, 2009 - 23:27
Oh, I probably should have qualified my statement with 'the same could be said for men'. I think the key is balance; I can be a bit of a lad when I'm in the right company and certainly know when I need to be tough and unflinching. I think the key is knowing how to behave in a given situation, regardless of gender.
TheShyAssassin | December 27, 2011 - 16:52
Good poem. Well done.
Dear Ale... | February 1, 2012 - 05:04
Love the attitude in this one, I've definitely met her before!
Flaws as claws, what a line.