I woke up under a cloudy veil
but I couldn’t smell a thing.
Every breath I drew was hot and stale
but I couldn’t smell a thing.
I tried to rise and see the cause,
tho’ I couldn’t smell a thing;
best I could manage was on all fours,
still I couldn’t smell a thing.
My eyes stung and filled with tears;
why couldn’t I smell a thing?
Imagination ran with my worst fears;
damned if I could smell a thing.
A sudden noise confirmed the worst
yet couldn’t I smell a thing;
through the door the fire burst
still I couldn’t smell a thing.
Those flames took everything I owned
because I couldn’t smell a thing.
I only wish it’d taken my useless nose
as it can’t smell a bloody thing.
Comments
Nathan Bednarek | January 20, 2010 - 01:04
HAHA!!! Love this!!! A very funny and entertaining poem. Usually this much repetition would be irritating, but it really works well in this poem. A very good take on the IP. Love the last stanza!
Well done and thank you for posting this. Really cheered me up ;-D
Nathan.
Dynamaso | January 20, 2010 - 01:08
Nathan, glad it gave you a laugh mate - objective achieved. Thanks :)
Silver Spun Sand | January 20, 2010 - 11:44
As Nathan says, the repetition works very well. Made me smile...and think at the same time.
A novel and thought inspiring take on the IP.
Tina
MistakenMagic | January 20, 2010 - 17:39
I agree with Tina and Nathan - the repetition really drives the poem along! Well done on another great poem for the IP ;)
Magic xxx
SteveM | January 22, 2010 - 18:15
Great stuff Mark.
Steve
Dynamaso | January 24, 2010 - 08:26
Thanks Steve. Got anything coming here soon?