Too Much Detail


from the ABC set Poetry & Song Lyrics

He stripped away
the façade,
the filligree of
pretense,
built up over
years of
conditioning.

Instincts engaged,
he stepped
off the edge
into the abyss,
where his
future waited
patiently.

Discuss this piece in the abctales forum


Comments

threeleafshamrock | March 29, 2009 - 08:48

The more I read this the better it gets; very, very good mate! Isn't it funny, that the less you say sometimes,the sharper it becomes and the more it means; this is a perfect example. I think this is what is referred to as 'real poetry!' Great stuff!

Chris

Dynamaso | March 29, 2009 - 09:13

Chris, short, sharp poetry is a favourite of mine to read. I like the idea of using as few words as possible to convey as much meaning as one can.

Thanks for your kind words, mate. These are much appreciated

MistakenMagic | March 29, 2009 - 11:03

I love minimalistic poetry so I'm in love with this week's IP and all the stuff it's producing! Chris is right, less words - more power! Loved this one ;)

Magic xxx

Dynamaso | March 29, 2009 - 11:11

Magic, thanks very much. I find it a lot harder to write but so satisfying.

Silver Spun Sand | March 29, 2009 - 15:45

Very clever, Chris. I like this. Less is definitely more:-)

Tina xx

lenchenelf | March 29, 2009 - 15:53

Good stuff D :-) atb L

Dynamaso | March 29, 2009 - 22:43

Tina, thanks so much for your kind comment. Just so you know, my name is Mark. Chris is 'Threeleafshamrock'. I'm the one with the goatee :D

Dynamaso | March 29, 2009 - 22:44

Thanks very much, Lenchenelf.

Ewan | March 30, 2009 - 13:04

No, I'm the one with the goatee, it's on my picture! I'm Spartacus!

Mind you I had to check this was written by you Mark... I found it different to your other stuff.

Which isn't to say I didn't like it.

Ewan.

Dynamaso | March 31, 2009 - 04:33

Sure you're not Woger or maybe Bwian? But really, whoever you are, I'm pleased you enjoyed this one :)