Letter of Application for the Post of Diversity Initiatives Facilitator

Ex-walker for a dog called Elvis,
the Nanny to one Siamese Twin;
an assistant to a blind functionary
in the Chamber of Commerce, Berlin.
I've experience in a number of positions,
as assistant to a magician's cat.
The money you pay is no object,
I've inherited a squatter's flat.
I could start a week after Doomsday,
and I'd like Armageddon off,
tattoo me with the company's logo
and I'll swill out the manager's trough.
Please give me a chance of employment,
a spin of the personnel wheel,
a person so humanly resourceful
must be useful for something, I feel.