I am the most well-known count,
of infamy I have no small amount;
my presence is sensed on Whitby beach:
no place beyond my odourous reach.
Beside the Penny Waterfall - on the promenade -
you'll find me loitering, and frying lard.
Who is that Transylvanian imposter?
I am more famous, two fish will cost a
pound with a poke, but not from Dracula:
yes, it is I, the evil Count Spatula.
Comments
chuck | July 24, 2009 - 16:23
Now that's scary. Why not drop 'if you' in line 6 and get rid of the awkward surplus syllables?
Ewan | July 24, 2009 - 16:27
You think? I thought I could force the meter. I'll read it again.
I think really might be better dispensed with, myself. Definitely not quite right, though.
chuck | July 24, 2009 - 16:34
Yes 'really' is the stumbling block. On the other hand 'if you look hard' doesn't seem quite right either. I will give it some thought and get back to you.
Ah, I see you got rid of 'really' while I was posting.
'If you all look hard'?
'Frying lard' works.
Ewan | July 24, 2009 - 16:36
Too much time spent in the North East: wuz luv uz Laaaaaard, yer nah!
chuck | July 24, 2009 - 16:37
Quite. But can it technically be fried?
Ewan | July 24, 2009 - 16:39
Ah now, that's just being picky! Let's just call it a transferred epithet.
chuck | July 24, 2009 - 16:49
Obviously we need skunk on this one.
Ewan | July 24, 2009 - 16:50
I thought it almost worthy of him.
chuck | July 24, 2009 - 16:52
He loves anything smelly.
Ewan | July 24, 2009 - 16:53
Are you saying his poetry stinks? Don't be mean, Mr Woww.
chuck | July 24, 2009 - 16:54
Well only in a nice way. I mean no disrespect.
Ewan | July 24, 2009 - 16:57
Ahh... it's di-stink-tive!
Ewan | July 24, 2009 - 16:57
I find it interesting, myself.
chuck | July 24, 2009 - 17:10
Yes well skunk's are people too of course. I think I'm in enough trouble for one day.
Ewan | July 24, 2009 - 17:11
Skunk's what are people? Do you mean like Crackersville's raccoons are people?
Ewan | July 24, 2009 - 17:12
Damn' that was childish of me! I apologise.
chuck | July 24, 2009 - 17:26
Too late. You will have to answer to the Crackersville Literary Committee for that.
threeleafshamrock | July 24, 2009 - 17:26
dum-de-dumdum, dum-de-dum-de-dum....
Ewan | July 24, 2009 - 17:28
'Dick a Dum Dum' Des O'Connor
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5OUiuVNWxYA
threeleafshamrock | July 24, 2009 - 19:33
LOL!
FTSE100 | July 24, 2009 - 20:55
As Skunk's barrister, I advise you to libel him as often and as offensively as possible. I need the cash.
whiskey | July 24, 2009 - 21:25
Lol! I love it, Ewan. Thanks for the laugh. :-)
lenchenelf | July 24, 2009 - 22:12
Chortled, chuckled and chuntered :-0) atb Lena
Skunk | July 25, 2009 - 06:09
You are so nutty I think you must be bonkers.
Skunk | July 25, 2009 - 06:14
Incidentally, should there be a comma between place and my? With the comma it seems to say: places do not exist because my miasma won't reach.
My favourite non-existent place is Badiddlyboing, Odaidaho.
Ewan | July 25, 2009 - 06:21
I quite like the sound of places not existing because you can´t smell fish and chips in them.
sarah wilson | July 25, 2009 - 07:41
Really made me laugh - thanks:)