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thoroughly enjoyed reading this. great work fatboy.

utterly convincing word picture. You've made me remember a million car journeys like this

Love your writing like this Fatboy. really very entertaining.
;)Pia

Another Werther's Originals fan, I see;-)

A poem, expertly crafted, with which many of us can identify, to a lesser or greater extent, as the case may be.

Tina;-)

So many great lines, made me smile and wince in equal measure, fab.

Hi Fatboy,

I think you can learn alot about people on car
journeys, being stuck in a confined space, your
description certainly did that for me, with the
Cambell's Cream of Tomato soup and the theme tune
to Fantasy Island, the mention of the Werther's
Originals and that fantastic song, 'The Boys of
Summer,' I actually have that on vinyl, would you
believe.

Anyway I really enjoyed this and congrats on the
cherries.

Jenny.

Fun and nasty - nice.

Seem to get the brands other than The Boys of Summer which I might now have to look up.

btw there's an inaudible p in Cambells before the b. Or there was, maybe it's now extinct?

Thank you all for your kind feedback it means a lot that people enjoy these so i'm really chuffed. And thanks Eds for t'cherries - that was how it all started ashb, one said it had a P, t'other said nay and it escalated from there - (well spotted by the way and glad you enjoyed).

Can't get that damn song out of my head. :-)

fb74
Well done on Cherry award.
How I envy your use of words.

"...the sharpened points of a claw hammer
that I could bury in your squat knees..."

Ouch!

Yes I agree Scozen that might sting a bit - thanks for reading and glad you enjoyed. :-)

ScoZen

ps fb74.
I have mentioned abctales to a friend who is going to sign up.
And to say they have already read some of your work and have enjoyed.
regards

'and all those mistakes came flooding in,
unrequited friend requests on Facebook,
why I never washed the cafetierre...'

- love the originality and poignancy in these lines, fatboy. Another wonderful read - and so love the delicious imagery in all your poetry!

Magic xxx

That's really great to hear scozen, pleased your friend liked my work and it's even nicer you let me know that. :-)

Magic, you are more than kind, thank you so much for the feedback and really pleased you enjoyed this one - and well done on a brilliant return. ATB FB :-)

and so we made a game of listing -
all the things we'd neglected to bring,
a sort of slice of life left behind,
no rules and no winners,
and then the game of silence
that gave the whole thing epic symmetry,
your begrudging declaration,
the languid rolling of a pallid smoke
and the same weary exhalation.'

- FB, your poetry needs to come with a health warning, this took my breath away! (too cheesy, maybe?) Anyway, I got it back just in time for the final stanza,

'I unfolded the map again and worked
out how many times listening to
The Boys of Summer it would take to get us
to the border.'

- exhaled with happiness, some of the most poignant final lines I've ever read, these are. The whole poem is crammed with gorgeous imagery and language, but I couldn't copy-paste all of my favourites as I'd just end up copying the whole thing.

Brilliant stuff, really enjoyed this and my personal P.O.W, me thinks - go fatboy :) :)

Rachel xx

Another brilliant comment Rachel which I vote for C.O.W - seriously though I do appreciate your feedback and this is massive praise from a talented writer so it means an awful lot. I'm trying to get my stuff out to magazines at the minute with very limited success and I know the rejection e-mails are to be expected but it is getting a bit too regular for comfort. I originally put stuff on ABC as a bit of fun, but when I seemed to get quite good at writing poems from all the cherries and brilliant comments I thought why not? I don't know if my stuff is good enough or if i'm pissng in the wind, but i'll keep trying and see what happens. Any way, thanks so much for that and glad you enjoyed. :-)

Wow, Fatboy, what a beauty this is, although I do take issue with you putting that damned song in my head. Thanks a lot!

I know Dynamaso I've had it in my brain for a month and a half now, sorry to inflict it on someone else. Glad you liked this thanks for feedback. :-)

So sorry, I'm so late commenting. Can't really add any more, I can only say how much I enjoyed this and that there are many fabulous images :-)

Beeme xx

Keep at it FB, it'll pay off for you soon, I'm sure. Completely understand what you meant in that comment - Abc started as a bit of fun for me too but it has ended up being so much more than just a writing site for me. The standard of writing on here is so high that it encourages me to work harder on my individual pieces and because of that, I've ended up with a few poems I never dreamed I'd have written, much thanks to Abc. I tried the competition thing the other year and appart from getting my face in the local rag when I 'won' the regional title in a national comp, (turned out to be bloody vanity press, didn't it, the swines) I didn't get anywhere. Was very naive at the time and had started to believe in my own hype a little - family and friends seem to think I'm a cross between Keats and Kate Nash or something :) - and so I thought it'd be a breeze. Was a very large learning curve, let me tell you. I'm going to go for a few competitions myself this year but only so I don't feel like I'm wasting what others kindly call my 'talent' - it's just nice to feel like I'm actually doing something about my passion, if I'm honest. Plus, I look back at some of the entries I submitted during my comp-binge and I can thoroughly understand why they didn't make the grade - my writing wasn't half as good as I'd been led to believe it was back then, but now I think I've actually got something worth reading to send in so I might just plague a few places over the summer :)

Keeping my fingers crossed that I win C.O.W - thanks for nominating me! :oD

And thanks for listening to my ramblings - that's one of the many other reasons why I've grown to love this site, people actually listen to me (or pretend to, atleast!) Haha, good luck with whatever you submit FB, I could send you a few details for a few competitions if you'd like as I've collected quite a lot of info now, just let me know.

All the best,

Rachel xx

Cheers Rachel, I think like you I will do the competitions this year. I'm already in for the Bridlington but any others you know of would be greatly appreciated. First published poem yesterday on Ezine Spilt Milk which goes some way to making me feel a little less disheartened after another rejection (boo-hoo), as has your comment - thank you. :-)

Writing like this is just inspirational. So realistic, I had to stretch my legs after reading! Thank you.

I always find it wonderful when people read my old stuff and like it, because I haven't read it for ages and you forget what you've written. Really appreciate you having a look and pleased you enjoyed - trouble is now, i've seen bits I want to edit! :-)