Telling An Old Man To Holster His Meat Pistol After Watching County Lose To Burnley At Edgeley Park

Wonderful- gritty- like it a lot Fatboy. Well done

;)Pia

Brilliant!

Pia and Seashore you are both more than kind and really glad you enjoyed.:-)

Hi FB,

my eyes have never been so boggled, as they were
when I read this, what a sight it must have been.

I just had this picture in my head, of!...well I
won't go into it. Anyway you kept my attention
throughout this piece of writing, I really enjoyed.

Jenny.

Not a pretty picture that one Jenny, really glad you enjoyed though and thanks for letting me know. :-)

Well, this poem is certainly front-runner for best title of the year! But not only that, you've painted a wonderfully amusing picture of a bread and circus society mired in deprivation and madness..."suddenly relegation doesn't seem like the end of the world..." poignant, brutal and tinged with sadness. great read fb!

Thanks Kilb - I think i'm getting a bit silly with these titles, but when it's a long one it feels like it's part of the poem somehow. Really appreciate your feedback and really pleased you enjoyed this one. :-)

Fb, have you ever submitted to Roger's Profanisaurus? Russell the One Eyed Wonder Muscle definately deserves to be in there.

Gerardineanne
Yes,brilliant.
Thankyou

Fucking Marvellous

'Put your knob away mate' - a laugh out loud moment. Think I might like this world of poetry after all.

wow lots of great comments, thanks chaps.

I only wish agnelli that I had thought of it myself but I heard someone say it on a telly box prog and then looked it up - I must check out this Roger's Profanisaurus, it sounds up my street.

Thanks so much gerardineanne glad you enjoyed it. :-)

Great comment, thanks simonborkin - and welcome to ABC - all the best people are called Simon.

I think you're hooked OP and if you keep writing poems people like you might have to start doing requests. ATB fatboy :-)

Really made me smile, fatboy. A tale brilliantly told, as always! There's something brutal but beautiful about this piece. Well done on the cherries :)

Magic xxx

You put me right in the picture and in the moving crowd. What an old guy! Buckle on the pavement - excellent.

Ha ha ha ha... Brilliant stuff, sir. But what did Rolf Harris have to do with an old man's cock?

Excellent. And great title. I think you must be on a roll again ...

Rob

I haven't read anything today and have been on the sauce tonight so will catch up soon - Magic, Scratch, Archie and Rob thanks so much for having a read and really pleased you like it, :-)

Love the 'punchiness' in the style of this, fb. A rollicking tale, to be sure;-)

Tina

Brilliant, I love two little boys reference, and Caramacs! but really too many really funny lines to mention, and so many new names for 'it' left me like Jennifer, Boggle eyed!

This, with all the due warnings needed!, is our Facebook and Twitter pick of the day.

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Get a great reading recommendation most days.

Life caught in a poem. Absolutely brilliant.

I wasn't sure this would go down well, but all these lovely comments are a really nice surprise and I'm so pleased it was so well liked - massive thanks to everyone that has read and commented and thanks Tina, Shoe, Leander. Cheers bigboss as well for the pick of the day - maybe I could have done a version a bit less potty-mouthed for those facebooker people - it seems the older I get the more I swear, I don't know what to fucking do about it. :-)

Ageing is a good thing. My aim in life is to get to that stage where I can leer and shout with impunity at people over a garden wall and be a disgrace to whatever village I end up in. You're obviously well on the way to that glorious future!

Rob

That sounds like an excellent plan Rob. :-)

This is immensely good. Full of life and grit and you completely absorbed my attention. I love the opening. I love all the sharp-edged details. God, it's good.

This is absolutely brilliant. So funny. So sad. You write about life and it's idiosynchrasies so very well. Two little boys is abit of a tear jerker isn't it?

Maggy and Ott - thanks so much, I don't know where this one came from but when they come it's best just to go with it - don't know if either of you have had this, an automatic writing kind of sensation where you don't feel particularly in control. I think I have a new symptom OTT the fear that this feeling won't come back.
Cheers. :-)

If you had studied my ABC OCD part One, I think you'll find I mentioned that symptom there? Or did I? I can't bloody remember now. Well for all our sakes I think it needs re-iterating. I got it after my one and only SOTW back in 1906. Very unpleasant. Cheers for reminding me anyhow. I'll get cracking. When I feel remotely creative that is.

I hear 1906 was a vintage year OTT. I can't summon the energy to write/read at the mo - i'm just knackered, everyday feels like a double-marathon run in a Big Bird costume. :-)

Very good Fatboy, gritty and as I read this it seemed fast-paced and breathless. Capturing all of the emotion perfetcly with sparse punctuation. (sorry if I sound like a poet critic!!)

Beeme x

There is nothing wrong with sounding like a poetic critic and you nailed it anyway beeme - thanks for letting me know. :-)

My all-time-fatboy-favourite, this is - jeez, FB this is bloody good! Been to watch the Latics away a few times and this didn't half make me want to go again - more for the meat and potato pies at half time rather than old meat pistols, mind you. Honestly though, this is brilliant. It has the fatboy stamp of gritty originality all over it and smells right on the money to me - you sent this off anywhere? You should do - if ever there was a poem that could turn a swarm of footie-nutters into poetry-lovers, this is it. Nice one, FB - on yer 'ed, son ;)

Rachel xx

Thanks Rachel - I still quite like it myself, which is unusual for me, but I'm glad you enjoyed it so much. You know i'd forgotten how much I love meat and potato pie - living in the south for as long as I have, it had slipped out of my head, just like chips mushy peas and gravy in a tray which i used to adore. Do you remember those top flight heady days when your team were playing against the big boys in the early 90's?

I don't send anything anywhere anymore, i'm quite happy for it to sit on here. I don't even have the energy to join other writing sites as so many do, but i'm a bit biased as I think I found the best one first. How did your read go, well I hope? Take care and all the best. :-)

Blimey!

Can you still get Caramac?

Been a while since I joined the footballing throng at Elland Road to mither about yet another defeat but the atmosphere was wonderfully conveyed , exposed chappie and all - brilliant

I haven't seen one for a while Denzella, thanks for stopping by and glad to see you getting the hang of things now. :-)

I'd thought for a while that we could be friends lavadis but now I know the truth i feel betrayed.:-)
Really pleased you enjoyed this, I have a feeling it will be my last ever poem - where do I go from here? Have a great christmas and keep up the fine writing. :-)

Am I the only person to be deeply offended by fatboy's gratuitous use of the C word?

Caramac! Indeed! I used to love them!

Really got me taste buds going.

As for the old boy couldn't you have given him a hand..,um, perhaps not...

Yes, thanks fatboy starting to get the hang of the site just need to get the hang of this writing lark now!

Rhythmic and powerful ... with plenty of humerous moments! Great work

Hi northernmoores, thank you for reading and kind comments, and I forgot to say welcome to ABC. :-)