Dear Lord 'Todger' Freeloader,
There has been some concern in the banking community that directors and key staff might have to forego their bonus payments this season. I write to reassure you on this matter. We in the government understand perfectly that you have a lifestyle to maintain and that loss of bonus payments would cause you extreme hardship. We do not for a moment expect you to forego your bonuses, we merely suggest that in the present climate it might be a trifle tactless to use the word 'bonus'.
Might I suggest that you refer to the payments as 'stupidity punishments'? The statement 'Lord Freeloader has been subjected to a fouteen million pound stupidity punishment', although a trifle embarrassing, is surely tolerable in the present circumstances. We hope that receipt of your £14M cheque will teach you a valuable lesson in word selection.
Be assured that we will always turn a blind eye to what you are doing so long as you don't look too closely at our affairs. Decent chaps must look after one another and if this can be done without enraging the riff-raff, so much the better.
Kind Regards,
'Squiffy' Smythe-Scratcher
Comments
Dendrite | February 7, 2009 - 02:47
Very funny, splendidly sarcastic, so true. Stupidity punishments... still laughing, the bastards.
Jasper_Milvain | February 7, 2009 - 21:48
It's always so important to be chap-like.
JM
tcook | February 8, 2009 - 17:03
A cherry just to wave two fingers at those bankers - although I'm not sure it begins with a 'b'.
Kahdai | February 17, 2009 - 23:36
Hahaha! I get it! Oh & 'Squiffy' mehnt poshli-drunk? Stupidity punishment, i do kno not of, but stupidity tax is lottory =)
Kahdai | February 17, 2009 - 23:37
trifle can be a dessert, but i understood it through context =) !