When I'm Drunk

Ignore me when I'm drunk,
at least when I'm very drunk
and I'm starting to ramble.
But don't fully ignore me,
Or I'll get pissed off
And talk about you behind your back.
I know it's childish,
You'd be best just to forget what I'd said:
When I'm drunk I mean.
Especially don't pay attention
to what I say if it's offensive.
Unless it's close to the bone,
in which case I probably meant it.
But maybe I'm just angry
And taking it out on you.
Look just play it by ear.
Don't get me wrong,
I'm great fun when I'm pissed.
Ask my friends,
But if they tell you anything bad about me,
Tell me.
Don't be saying anything bad about me either,
Not that you will,
I just think it's fair to warn you.
Because if you do have a problem
We can sort it out here and now.
Just step outside...