The Fire Ritual


from the ABC set Stuff

In the restaurant`s low murmurs
bright as a fallen angel,
she smiles in a sunlit halo.
Absently brushes the white shell
of his hand.

He is death suited, a dark Mephistopheles
against the startling expanse of table.
Slowly he turns, blends into
a perfection of shadows.

Through the muted jazz
a fragment of laughter
catches the air
disperses among the jasmine.

Then another smile.
The ubiquitous touching of hands,
her smoothing of a rogue
wisp of hair,
the gradually unfolding desire.

As flickering candlelight
dapples the room,
he raises a glass,
drinks in the sight of her.

Outside I listen
to a straggle of Glasgow rain
blowing her name
across a glistening wound
of street.

Through this alcohol invulnerability,
I watch the darkness grow and grow.
And I burn endlessly.

1
2
3
4
5

Discuss this piece in the abctales forum


Comments

jennifer | August 5, 2008 - 11:15

This is just lyrically superb.

Love:

'Absently brushes the white shell
of his hand.'

and the ambiguity and wordplay of:

'he raises a glass,
drinks in the sight of her.'

One point - think the punctuation needs to be considered a wee bit more carefully to help the reader weave through it.

Dan Ryder | August 5, 2008 - 13:20

this is excellent, feels like a well crafted noir, beautifully discriptive. if you have'nt already, check out a band called enablers, you might like them.

Gilbert | August 6, 2008 - 10:41

Thank you both for the kind comments.
Much appreciated.

G.