The British are coming!

The British are coming
The British are coming
Ready for their summer holiday with discounts most cunning
Gunning Peugeots upon thickly clogged motorways
Passports in hand, we prepare for delays
A yearly migration a jaded, over worked parade
Looking to turn your country into ours for 7 to 10 days
Flocking
with visas
to airports
in August
In flip-flops,
complaining
about other tourists
Jumping off planes to exclaim
“Gosh! It’s warm!”
IOn chorus
The shirts may be ropey, but our boozing is flawless

Cos the British are coming
That’s right
The British are coming
Lock up your Sangria
And whack out the sun in
With original comments like
'The scenery is stunning!'
'Is that a beggar?
Oh darling we’re slumming!'
Taking photos snap snap
Saying that’s one for Facebook!
Ooh! Novelty crap!
Let’s get a case of
Traditional figures carved by that funny old man
In that ripped Nike jumper with knobbly hands
Repeat ourselves louder if he doesn’t understand
Can you carve Del boy and Rodney? Oh, that would be grand!

The British are coming!
The British are coming!
Our palate is tested our
Bottoms are running
Forget your Nirvana
Its Oasis we’re humming
Chlamydia on the beach
go on and get your tongue in
What's that you did yell?
That you have shit to sell?
Oh please make us form a line
Because we can queue so well
don’t feel degraded, The visas invaded, its well beyond your borders
You want to be left alone?
That ain't what Wikipedia taught us
you'll hardly know we're here,
see our appliances are cordless
You might as well embrace it,
Come on and kneel before us!
Because

The British are
Cumming
The British are
Cumming
UUUUHHHHHH….

And then we fly home cos we're done,
but somethings wrong,
And you don't know where to begin,
But something salty is sloshing behind that customer service grin
Perhaps you feel abused,
preyed upon by vultures
Perhaps you feel cheap,
like you’re whoring out your culture
But chill out and smell the money,
stretch that grin from ear to ear
And teach your kids to kneel beside you,
When we come back again next year.