The Mathematics Of Cupboard Space
The accurate placement of the raspberry jam is vital if you wish to fully understand the complexities of modern mathematical theory. For it wasn’t until the late 20th century, after some pioneering work by Hilbert, that mathematicians began to understand the full complexities of cupboard space.
Of course, as we all now know, cupboard space exists in more than three dimensions. That is except – and this is the fascinating part – when we are trying to put more items into the cupboard, where all space suddenly collapses down around the items in the cupboard so there is no more room for even a small refill pack of dried rosemary or a even sachet of yeast.
Another aspect of cupboard space that has puzzled both mathematicians and theoretical physicists is the relationship between cupboard space and quantum uncertainty. For cupboard space seems to be one of the few areas (see also shed space) on the everyday macro level where the principle of uncertainty seems to operate.
For, as in the quantum world where it is not possible to know both the position and the momentum of a particle, in cupboard space you cannot know that an item is in the cupboard and be able to find it at the same time. You can only find things in the cupboard you are not looking for, or if you are not looking for that particular item, then it will be the one that you will find, especially if you’ve just bought a replacement for it*.
In an addendum to his famous cat in a box thought experiment, Schrödinger also postulated that if the cat is alive when it is taken from the box the matter of whether there is any cat food in the cupboard to feed the now-hungry cat will remain unknown. That is, of course, unless you decide to look for something else, i.e. the raspberry jam, instead. This is why the placement of the raspberry jam has taken such a central role in the contemporary understanding of the complexities of cupboard space.
*Known as the Tesco Interpretation.