Unbridled Politically-Motivated Poultry Taunting
Now it seems that the days of Unbridled Politically-Motivated Poultry Taunting are - at long last - coming to an end. Not before time many people have said. But, as usual, little attention has been paid to the social and economic consequences of such a ban.
We are all no doubt familiar with the traditionally painted scenes of Unbridled Politically-Motivated Poultry Taunting by such masters of the genre as Hardcastle Splodge and Dysentery Daub, from the 18th and 19th century, respectively. Each produced many paintings showing the massed splendour of up to seven people mounted on their taunting steeds, dressed in their finest taunting 'yellows' of purple underwired bra and orange waders with the specially-bred and trained packs of taunting hamsters 'showing' and baying, eager to be off taunting. Such scenes do evoke a form of romantic reverie for a bygone age, but they show little of the trauma suffered by poultry that has had its political allegiances and beliefs subjected to savage - and, often, blatantly sarcastic - scrutiny.
Opponents of Unbridled Politically-Motivated Poultry Taunting have revealed the consequences of what its supporters say is 'a great rural tradition', 'just a bit of fun,' and other such excuses. Sometimes - it seems - the poultry are so deeply traumatised by the experience they give up on politics altogether, even finding a response of 'don't know' to an opinion pollster is enough to bring on flashbacks and nightmares.
We all remember the harrowing TV documentary shown just last year, where Benjie the mallard duck felt no longer able to publicly express his preferred view supporting the Liberal Democrats on greater EU expansion, due solely to his repeated taunting by the Wednesbury Unbridled Politically-Motivated Poultry Taunters.
Conversely, the argument put forward by the taunters, is that left to their own devices whole flocks of poultry could begin to express a preference for extreme political views and parties. This is borne out by the scandal of the turkey flock from Sunnyvale Farm (a wholly-owned subsidiary of Turkey-Flavoured Rendered Meat-style Eating Products PLC) coming out in public support of the BNP, and, recently, a small flock of ducks on a pond near Tewksbury were found openly distributing the Socialist Worker ‘newspaper’.
However, only time will tell whether this country will see an outbreak of extreme politically-motivated poultry running amok through its farmyards, or whether it will see a growth into full democratic politically-mature debate amongst the many diverse political views held by the poultry flocks of this country, free from interference by Unbridled Politically-Motivated Poultry Taunters.