People who wave on trains
are the ones who leave their front door swung wide open
with the sun sawing them in half like a magician’s finale
and they are the ones who picked up that scarf
and put it on the fence post;
and you are the one who
after three days of walking past it, thinks:
I’ll have that.
And bolt your bedroom door
And stand there, a moment, considering
Whether to wave back.
Comments
Doeslittle | July 22, 2008 - 10:02
Very neat, very good, I liked the contrast.
HaiAnh | July 22, 2008 - 10:14
Thank you Doeslittle. x
capoeiragem | July 22, 2008 - 12:39
Nice contrast, as Doeslittle says. Loved the image of the open door, 'the sun sawing it in half like a magician's finale'...Brilliant.
anipani | July 22, 2008 - 12:55
says alot in a very few, well chosen , beatifully crafted images. I bow to you. Loud applause.
HaiAnh | July 22, 2008 - 13:37
thank you very much for your feedback and compliments anipani and capoeiragem. x
Dynamaso | July 25, 2008 - 05:07
I have to agree with the other commentors here. Well crafted, succinct and thoroughly enjoyable.
MistakenMagic | July 27, 2008 - 11:53
'the sun sawing them in half like a magician’s finale' - This is such a beautiful image!
I loved the way you had two separate stanzas to show the contrast and the open and bolted door imagery was superbly crafted!
mori saltson | July 28, 2008 - 14:13
This is a really beautiful, concentrated poem, with the trademark HaiAnh sense of unease, or is that just me?! A really minimal poem, but one that says so much.
jennifer | August 5, 2008 - 00:12
This unsettled me. Very clever piece. I am the kind of person who smiles at and waves at and talks to strangers... have never pinched a scarf though...