An image of pupils outside the gates;
Bright blown leaves beneath a tree.
Discuss this piece in the abctales forum
MaggieG | September 19, 2011 - 17:10
This is a solid piece of writing
Next time I would delve a little deeper into your metaphors though, think of something a little less common than leaves Darlin.
Enjoyed reading you :)
harveyjoseph | September 19, 2011 - 17:29
Your right, it is too obvious. There's a poem by Ezra Pound, called In A Station Of The Metro. Its a real gem and I guess, like that, I wanted to try and distil a very simple image into something meaningful in as few words as possible. The Imagist trick - Pound uses petals to describe faces on the underground, but its really haunting...
I'll keep at it. Thanks for the commentary.
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