The Constants Are Always Maybe and What If
By Headphones
- 140 reads
I've always been walking. No matter what, I always find myself walking down a path, but as I look into the distance, the only thing I see is fog. As I continue on this paved road, the fog around me clears up, but it never completely clears for me to look beyond it. It's always foggy, it always will be foggy, as long as I'm in the present, I cannot see beyond that fog. There comes a time where there's a fork in the road, and I'm not going to go on the basis of "a road less travelled". How can I know which road is less travelled if I've never come across it? Maybe I have come across it, maybe I've come across it once, or maybe a hundred times. But I'll never come across the me who took that road, because I didn't take that road, I took the road that I thought was the one less travelled. Just like the me that thought that their path was the one less travelled, and the next me, and the next.
Let's stick to this me. I've come across a fork in the road, and once I've chosen a path for me, the other one will ultimately be unattainable. My mom always told me to finish what I started, so I'll try. There's never really such a thing as turning back in life, once a path is chosen, it's paved for me, fog included. My life, as long as I breathe, as long as I come across forks in the road, as long as I have a mind to make a choice, will always wonder 'What if'. What if I had studied harder? Well, I would've passed that test, maybe I'd fail, just with a better mark, maybe I'd fake a stomach sickness to get out of writing it, or maybe is just skip the class, maybe I'd go somewhere else, maybe. That's the constant in my life, the 'maybes' and the 'what ifs.' Even if it's a different me, who made a different choice, in a different life, in a different universe, no matter what, I'd always have my 'maybes' and 'what ifs'. Maybe I'm questioning my current existence, would the me of that life be satisfied with how I turned out? Or would the me of a different life be unsatisfied with the current me? Would I be satisfied, dissatisfied with the potential outcome of my different existences? The constantly changing things in this one path are the choices I face, who knows if I was predetermined to choose those choices, or maybe I am made completely free to choose my own choices.
Yet, no matter what, I'll still keep walking, and so will another me, and another, and another, all with their own outcomes and reasons, reasons that I'll probably never understand or come to face. There's always a path, there's always me, and there's always an outcome. I always told myself that there are choices, good or bad, wrong or right, it's really my perception of it. I know if I have one perception, another me will hold a different perception, and so forth. As long as there are maybes and what ifs that exist in this one life of mine, there will always be a variable amount of outcomes that could potentially be my own. Then again, they're all my outcomes, they're just covered in a deep fog.
So, I'll keep living until I've run out of choices. So basically, until I'm dead.
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