The Ballad of Muddy Puddles

The Ballad of Muddy Puddles‭

‬My name is Muddy Puddles‭
‬and I come from Baton Rouge‭
‬my daddy plays the blues harp‭
‬and my momma sings the blues‭
‬they strapped a uke upon my back‭
‬and sent me on my way‭
‬now I'm in New Orleans‭
‬to show‭ '‬em how I play‭

‬'you're much too young ‭
‬to play here,‭' ‬son‭'‬
said barman Joe McQuinn‭
‬'you're only ten,‭
‬so come back when‭
‬you've whiskers on your chin‭'‬

and that's the way the‭
‬game was played‭
‬as I crossed each‭
‬tavern floor ‭
‬they'd turn me‭ '‬round,‭
‬say goodbye and shove‭
‬me out the door‭

‬till one day when ‭
‬I met a man who‭
‬asked to see me smile‭
‬'you're much too young‭
‬for sadness,‭ ‬son‭
‬won't you sit and‭
‬play awhile‭?'‬

so I sat and showed‭
‬him what I had‭
‬right there in his saloon‭
‬his jaw then dropped‭
‬as he made me stop‭
‬and spat in his spitoon‭
‬'son,‭' ‬he said,‭
‬'please mark my words
for what I say is true‭ 
that music you are playing‭
‬is the most god awfulest‭
‬nonsense I ever heard‭
‬I oughta whip your‭
‬hide and hang you‭
‬by your bootlaces‭
‬for fostering upon‭
‬the public the most‭ 
nauseating tones‭ 
that ever had the misfortune‭ 
to escape a musical instrument‭
‬that's if you can call‭
‬that assemblage of‭
‬moldy toothpicks an‭ 
instrument at all‭
‬more like a weapon of‭
‬aural destruction‭
‬and I've a good mind‭
‬to.‭ ‬.‭ ‬.‭'‬

on and on and on he went‭
‬till I couldn't take no more‭
‬so I packed up my ukulele‭
‬and headed out the door‭
‬'just one quick word ‭
‬before you go,‭' ‬said‭
‬this gentleman to me,‭
‬'just what was it ‭
‬made your parents‭
‬decide to set you free‭?'‬

and I said,‭ '‬ma and pa‭
‬are weak of eye
and‭ ‬weaker still of ear‭
‬they haven't had‭
‬their wits with them
since the world saw buccaneers‭
‬they both sleep in‭
‬the bathtub‭
‬cause I filled it up with hay‭
‬and I sleep‭ 
in their bedroom‭
‬all the live long day
so,‭ ‬I guess I'll go back
home now‭ 
and grow a set of chops
and then one day I'll
come back and show‭ 
you what I got‭'