Pen Laws
As a consequence of leaked reports concerning rifts between the two coalition leaders, the government has announced sweeping new pen laws.
To qualify for a pen licence certain terms and conditions must now be met.
No one earning less than 2K a week will be allowed to hold a licence.
In regards to a recent bout of tragic mass misspellings, no one with dyslexia will be considered for a licence unless they can spell: redactophobia, gargalesthesia, remplissage, and hobnob.
All pens must be kept under lock and key in steel cabinets securely bolted to a solid wall. All ink must be kept in a separate location.
Automatic and semiautomatic nibbed pens are to be banned, as are cheap imported Biros from Eastern Europe and China.
Left handed pens are to be banned. With the exception of pen clubs.
Pen pals will face MI6 interrogation under existing anti terrorist legislation.
The sale of rulers, protractors and compasses from newsagents will be outlawed from September 1st when a blank paper tax will also be introduced.
The government is also considering a keyboard tax where each letter will have an individual taxable value in a similar fashion to Scrabble. The words Wankers and Tossers will be a triple tax score.
Comments
insertponceyfre... | August 29, 2010 - 21:58
very funny idrew! I think the last idea is a brilliant one, but there's only one p in triple
iDrew | August 29, 2010 - 22:18
oops another misspellings - luckily no one died. Thanks for the heads up.
xDrew
Kicks To Hypnotise Suburban Daughters by Charlotte De'Ath available at Erbacce Press
http://www.erbacce-press.com/#/charlotte-death/4540789243
Highhat | August 29, 2010 - 23:50
love the link Drew. The Pen law reminded me of Fahrenheit 451 but was funny instead.
a sub urban Mother
:]
iDrew | August 30, 2010 - 00:44
Thanks honey - just caught me before zzzzz
did yer mean the link in the sig (keep meaning to change that)
or
http://www.cluelesscollective.co.uk
which is our little mob having a bit of fun (hopefully) and a bit of poetry too.
Fahrenheit 451 was on late night telly a few months back. Loved the idea of the firemen rushing to start fires. Perfect vocation for Keith from Prodg.
xDrew
Kicks To Hypnotise Suburban Daughters by Charlotte De'Ath available at Erbacce Press
http://www.erbacce-press.com/#/charlotte-death/4540789243
peterelbee | August 30, 2010 - 07:01
I suppose with the world going the way it is such a concept would not be too far fetched.
I liked you concept, best be careful with those pens.
Sort of reminded me of a story about what Noah would have to go through if he were to build an ark in Morden day New Zealand
Check out the following link Noah Today
Highhat | August 30, 2010 - 08:45
Fahrenheit 451 we took very seriously back in the 70s. They burned books. Noone was allowed to read a book. Strange book.It was very political as well! Can't remember who wrote it?
you are very good at muckin' about you and your friends. Like your links and poetry- but don't take them in earnest of course. Bollocks. Thought I could enter your peotry competition but it was an inside job- thought cuddles should have won instead of r-evolution. Don't like the picture of the power plant AND Stonehenge- terrible. get another one. Like a couple of sheep eating Mother's cake or even the duster cat. The duster cat should be eating the fairy cake - you don't have to eat the cat.
;)
iDrew | August 31, 2010 - 23:12
Thanks guys - truly
Will spend time with Noah soon - me thinks me will like. As a side note I'm a big Weat Ham fan (me Dad's fault) and we've just signed a NZ player
Hope to get to reading and commenting on work real soon - close family member is very ill at mo -I'm being nurse Drew.
New issue out 01/10/10 so new cover pic - the one I've seen is of dockside girls but there has been last minute changes before so don't hold me to that yeah.
What would you're one worder have been?
xDrew
Kicks To Hypnotise Suburban Daughters by Charlotte De'Ath available at Erbacce Press
http://www.erbacce-press.com/#/charlotte-death/4540789243
Highhat | September 1, 2010 - 14:47
you guessed it- cake! was about to write fairy but I'll settle with the cake thank you.Is there enough to go 'round? not very good at baking cakes - bread is more my alley.