Richard Harrison and Bruce Stallion star in this poem


from the ABC set Caligula's Return

which is a fast-paced,
brutal, beautiful, resolutely bad taste,
epic, actiontastic,
ninja-laiden, ball-
crushing, eye-bleeding, knee-splintering brawl,
in which Dick Shun (Stallion) must belt, blast, kick

and blaspheme a path
through an army of adjectives to taste the wrath
of Lex Icon (Harrison)
the evil overlord,
who schemes to rule the world and sends forth hoard
after hoard of iambs, rhymes by the garrison.

"It's hard to find fault in
this fun-filled four-verse romp," says Leonard Maltin.
"Non-stop A/A/B/C/
C/B stanzas 'til
the very end," says Poetry.com. "A thrill,"
say Rolling Stone. "Better than a movie."

ABCTales edition
includes trailer, interview and the 'What a Mission!'
TV documentary.
Believe the hype!
Own this timeless classic while the offer is ripe,
then live and relive the fist-blitz of the century.

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