the lager bottle spaceship

The lager bottle spaceship.

There was a little man that could just about fit into a lager bottle,
so he did.

Once inside he built himself one genuine atomic lager bubble warp drive
for his little lager bottle spaceship that he planned to construct (out
of the empty lager bottle, as well as the remaining lager froth at the
bottom thereof.)

It took several attempts to get it going, but once the fumes ignited
inside the empty bottle of McEwans lager, (with the little man in) it
went flying back wards through the bar. The little man flew his lager
bottle spaceship backwards through the bar, straight to a dark corner
where a guy called Martin was sitting copying stories off the internet
(on his stolen laptop with unlicensed Microsoft software).

He hovered a moment above Martin, and then he gave Martin a good 'ol
tonk over the head with his lager bottle spaceship. Then he gave him a
couple more for good measure. Luckily it was an empty bottle of
McEwans, which is harder, believe it or not, than even the skull of guy
like Martin.

Because of the continuous blows he sustained from the lager bottle
spaceship, Martin started hemorrhaging profusely at several primary
orifices simultaneously, which quickly led to his premature demise,
which was greeted with much joy from the fellow patrons of the bar
(man, woman and child alike).

After a job well done and mission successfully completed, the little
man in the lager bottle spaceship flew out of the bar door into outer
space, with the thunderous applause of gratitude of the poor bar folk
still echoing behind him, in search of new idiots to tonk.

Probably not the end.