Oom Sampie

Oom Sampie.

I walked under the shade of the big baobab tree onto the porch of the
Marula Hotel. At the entrance I stepped inside the reception room, and
turned right towards the bar.

Here was a small crowd of locals, gathered in the bar as they did each
day. In the corner sat Oom Sampie, and next to him, Oom Herklaas. Oom
Sampie was relaying one of his legendary tales, based on real life
experiences he would assure any listener. Oom Sampie considered his
stories gospel, and anyone who would dare question the truth thereof,
soon met with the righteous fury of the colossal man. For this reason
Oom Sampie's stories where always accepted as fact, if only within his
own earshot.

He turned to Oom Herklaas next to him and continued the tale he was
busy telling; "Yes, and so I was called to old man Venter's farm. He
had these two groups of baboons on his farm who where in a state of
continual conflict with each other. Their warfare with each other was
so extreme that the old farmer's entire farm was being laid to waste by
their fighting. He's crops and grazing had been utterly ruined by their
battles with each other. So I went over to his place to see what I
could do.

On arrival I immediately went over to where the two groups were busy
hurling insults at each other over a little divide. The one group sat
on a hill to my left, the other on a hill to my right, agitating each
other mutually. In between the two hills ran a small mountain
stream.

I took in position at the river between the two opposing groups and
shouted above the jabbering racket; "Silence! Enough! Quiet!" whereupon
they immediately fell silent. I turned to the group on my right and
said;
"Barbarians! Savages! Heathens! Aren't you ashamed of behaving
yourselves like monkeys! Don't you have any manners! Have you no
self-respect? Send me down your leader."
There was a scuffling among them and eventually a big male started to
climb down the hill towards me.

In the meantime the other group found the chastisement of their rivals
quite amusing, so I turned on them and shouted;
"Barbarians! Savages! Heathens! Have you no shame! Do you have no
regard for your fellow baboons? What are you, a bunch of monkeys? Send
me down your leader!"
They scuffled about in an embarrassed state before a large male
appeared from among them and started to climb down the hill towards me,
where I was standing at the river.

Both the big males approached me from opposing sides of the stream and
I said to them;
"Come fellows, this is no way to settle your grievances, shake hands.
Think of the future of your clans, if you consolidate your powers and
work in harmony you can strip the farmers' crops much more effectively.
Think of your young and their future generations. Come, shake hands
like civilized baboons, bury the hatchet, and make peace."

The tears in their eyes told me they were moved by my speech, and then
they shook hands over the river. Cheers of approval went up from the
baboons on the hills and since that day there has been peace among
those two baboon tribes. The old man payed me generously, and never had
need for my services again." Said Oom Sampie proudly as he concluded
his story.

"Yes, it certainly seems as if you have a knack with animals, Sampie."
Said Oom Herklaas among the approving murmur in the bar.

I drink my beer and make no comment.

Note: This is based on a story told to me by Selby Logan who died in 2007 aged 74.