Showdown.
I.
Waco, Texas, 1860. The bridge had not been built yet and there was still a ferry over the river. As yet there was no boom and the towns population numbered about two hundred people. The farms of the outlying region raised the population of the area by about two hundred more people.
It was from two of these farms that the two protagonists came. Bill was a cotton farmer that owned the place called 'cotton dandy' a few miles out of town. Bob was a hemp farmer that owned a little piece of land called 'seven blades', also nearby. They were arguing about some trivialities concerning their business, as they always did, being fierce competitors both and in direct opposition.
They were the only two in the bar, aside from the barkeep; Ben.
"I say cotton is the best crop, it's the crop of the future. Said Bill.
"Hemp has been more than sufficient for mans needs since yonks ago. Responded Bob and added, "as well as being more cost efficient and durable than cotton.
The argument was getting heated and with the two participants being well drunk, Ben could see serious trouble sticking out its head ugly shortly.
"To hell with you and your green shit. They should close your kind down. I think you smoke to much of your own product. Said Bill, and though the last bit was true, it upset Bob immensely.
It upset Bob because even though it was true, it was none of nobody else's business. And, thought he, one should not judge others, or some such, which brought him to a knew angle. "You should try some yourself sometime. It does wonders for the sex life, and if what your missus told me, in confidence I admit, is true, you definitely could do with a performance enhancing substance.
At which point, more or less, Bill (being the bigger man) grabbed Bob around the throat. Ben, a good barman if not entirely honest, intervened with a sawn off shotgun.
"Please take it outside guys, you know the rules. Said he.
The two mutually agitated drunks stumbled through the batwings to the dusty street outside with a curious barman in tow to witness the spectacle. Bob already had is gun out and swung it around confusedly in an effort to aim at Bill. Ben took it by the barrel and helped him to replace it in his holster saying; "That's not how it's done.
"How then Chief? said Bob.
Ben said " You stand a distance apart and when I reach three you simultaneously pull your weapons and fire.
"How old are you now, how long we have to wait? Bob wanted to know.
This is a cinch, thought Bill, even though he knew he was not a good shot, as he took up his position in the street.
II.
The two men stood facing each other in the street with their hands suspended inches from their holstered revolvers. It was quiet and no other people were witness to events.
"One shouted Ben.
"Two shouted Bob.
"Will you shut up and let me do the counting? asked Ben. Bill looked suspiciously from the one to the other.
"One repeated Ben, then more rhythmically and when sufficient time had lapsed he added "Two. And again gave a moments pause, in which time Bob took the opportunity to shout "Three and draw his firearm.
He couldn't focus and he knew he only had a second's advantage so he aimed wildly and pulled the trigger. A window shattered close to Bill distracting him further but eventually he managed to draw his gun. Unfortunately the safety was still on and now he had to spend time to rectify this.
Bob saw Bill slowly take out his gun and then saw him fidgeting with something on it near the handle. How opportunity was smiling on him today, he reflected as he re-aimed. He had Bill dead to rights, he squeezed the trigger.
Again a window broke near Bill but this time on the opposite side of the street. Bob open his eyes and said, "Damn.
Bill aimed again. Bob aimed again. A shot went off. The bullet traveled over the spot where Bob had been standing a nano second ago. Bob wasn't standing here anymore because he had literally disappeared into thin air before the eyes of Bill and Ben.
This didn't stop Bill from firing off two more rounds to the spot where Bob had been standing moments ago, for good measure. He shrugged his shoulders as the bullets flew harmlessly down the street and then walked back into the bar. Ben followed him while scratching his temple with his index finger.
III.
Ben was working behind the bar the next day. There were three regulars and a journalist from back east who was covering the story of the bridge they were planning on building.
At about noon Bob staggered through the batwings.
"Where have you been? asked Ben.
"God, its good to be back. Said Bob with a stupid grin on his spaced out faced.
Ben repeated the question "Where have you been?
"With God, up in his room. Said Bob.
"God, in his room?asked Ben.
"Yep, in his room among the stars. Said Bob happily.
"What's he look like? asked Ben skeptically.
"Little green fellow about yea high said Bob gesturing around about his middle.
"You really should stop smoking that stuff. Was Ben's disinterested response as he continued cleaning glasses and the regulars automatically resumed their interrupted drinking and conversation.
Only the eastern reporter was interested and came over to buy Bob a beer and listen to his story. They went and sat at a quiet table in a corner and Bob told him about the shootout.
"Then I vanished into thin air, which was a good thing because the sights of my gun was cockeyed, and I woke in Gods room among the stars. I could tell he was God cause of the miracle he'd just performed, me disappearing and being transported to his quarters. Also, he told me so. Speaks good English to.
Bob said and took a swig of beer before resuming his tale. "Yes, little fellow, only this high he indicated three feet again "never would have guessed it, green to, literally I mean. Green from head to toe. Except the palms of his hands, which were white.
Said he had come far for this visit. Gave me a strange drink and next thing I knew I was flat on my back on a metal table, tubes sticking out everywhere, my nose, ears, mouth and the like. He said I mustn't worry he was just doing a bit of 'sperrementing and I took courage when he assured me I was a prime specimen. He took another gulp.
Said he liked it here and was consider ring opening a mission on his next visit, which I thought was a good idea, him being God he was sure to be popular. He said it might be a good idea because where he came from laws where very oppressive. I secretly shared these sentiments of heaven but decided to keep it secret a while longer. Then we had a
few more drinks and the next thing I know I'm back where I started.
"This here fellow have a name other than God? asked the reporter.
"Yes now that you mentioned it, some foreign sounding name. Called himself; Koresh. Now aint that right out of the good book? Said Bob and took another sip of his payment.
The reporter wondered if the money had been worth the information.
IV.
The New York Herald
16 July 1860
(back page, sideline)
God is green, says hemp Farmer.
By B. Bongo
Waco, Texas. Mr. Bob Marvey, a local hemp farmer reports being mysteriously abducted by God.
According to Mr. Marvey he was involved in a showdown when he mysteriously disappeared from the vicinity. He maintains that God transported him to His quarters among the stars by miraculous means.
He states further that God is about three feet high and green in coloration. It was also revealed to him that God would shortly start a mission in the area, which should appeal to his many followers. Apparently he prefers to be known by the name Koresh.
Locals in the area seem to be of the opinion that Mr. Marvey consumes too much of his own product.
