hell

Jan van der Merwe goes to Hell for all the bad things he did on earth. On his arrival the Devil meets him and shows him the various rooms he is to choose from. There are only three. The first have people up to the waist in shit. Sloppy shit. Van thinks a while and says; “No, please, show me the other room, this too bad.” So the Devil shows him the next room. It has people in it standing up to their necks in the same sloppy shit. Van thinks about this a while, and then says to the Devil; “No, please, show me the other room, this too bad.”

So the Devil shows him the final room. This is full of people only knee deep in the shit, and they are all drinking cups of tea. They stand with saucer in the hand and a cup of tea in the other, the shit only up to their knees. So Van says; “This is brilliant, I’ll take this room.” And he goes and stands with the other people and enjoys his cup of tea. The shit’s only up to my knees, and I’ve got a nice cup of tea as well, this is a bargain; Van thinks to himself.

Suddenly a bell rings, and the Devil appears at the door shouting; “Tea-time’s over; stand on your heads!”