Create Space Now

I've just realised that the IP was actually 'CREATING SPACE NOW'.

Now I really could have done with that 'ing'.

Hey ho. Onwards and Upwards.
JM.

Your mutant is a beautiful thing!
Don't think you needed that -ing, its a grand poem without it.
Just one reservation - isn't there always one! - the word 'craps' jars a little with me, but that's just because I like the rest so much.
The form seems to really suit you. Well done JM. You're the king of constraints!

Thanks Silkander. Yes. I was a little worried about that word. It was meant to indicate the sharp intrusion of modern life - with the near new screen, but yes. I think perhaps it may be a little over-sharp.

I'll think about it. Thanks for commenting. I appreciate it.
JM.

Not sure about 'craps' either. Mind you Phil Larkin got away with contemporary intrusions like that all the time. People loved him for it. 'That Phil,' they would say, 'he's a card.'

Clever stuff, JM. Very impressed.

Re the word 'crap':
I rather liked it, thought it to be rather punchy.

Very enjoyable read, this. I like the word 'crap' too. I think it is honest and fits the rest of this piece well.

I've been trying to write something for this IP all week but haven't had much success.

I would ditto what Dynamaso says - almost word for word.

Well done!

Tina

I am so glad that someone did it - and very well done it is too!

I thought that nobody was going to try this; it seemed impossible but you proved me wrong. What you have done is absolutely fantastic. Well done.

Brilliant response to very difficult task. I fall in the 'craps' camp too. It is sharp and cutting,but I like it this way.

Thanks.

Thanks everyone.

Oh and thanks for the crap debate too. ;-)

I'm still not sure about it but I think changing it might end up with me poring for hours over the rest of it too, possibly with no benefit, so I'll leave it, at least for now.

Chuck, I think is spot on. It has come out very Larkinesque I think, which is no bad thing I suppose.

I actually really enjoyed writing with this tight constriction. In some ways it's easier than all that daunting freedom.

I don't know what other ABCTalers are like, but I always find that finding an initial idea you are happy with, the most dificult, and least pleasant part of the writing process.

Thanks so much to everybody for commenting.
Thanks for the cherry too ABC.

Thanks again.
JM.

Great and clever piece, enjoyed a lot. I actually love crap (maybe because I tend to write so much of it), absolutely fits in with theme and sentiment; a spade is not a shovel after all! Well done!

Chris ;)

Very clever - it took me a couple of reads but I think it really works. Well done!