Blood on my hands (20th June 2008, 9.46am)
It is to here that I have led my pride,
Prepared a virgin sacrifice,
Sharpened the sacrificial knife,
Whitened the bleeding dish.
If there is blood on my hands
In the evening that follows this,
I shall wash away the redness
And the guilt with fairy liquid.
Lady Macbeth, clutching my sides;
Watch them split, leak, as I cry;
To think it’s taken years of solstices
To fetch me to the edge of your horizon.
I watch the sun set, haloing the sky
With crimson, ochre, magenta hues
And turn to the bound emotion
On the stone in her last death throes.
As I slit, the spray abounds, hits
You in the face, drips down your nose
And my laughter rents the air, high,
And catches on the promises of night.
I shouldn’t have worn the white dress;
This was never a marriage, just a
Lack of love, a glut of unkept promises
And far above, the last vestige vanishes.
It is tonight that I have come with love
To offer up the last boundary;
My heart is tied to what’s inside, and true,
Pride is dead, and in her blood, I drown you.
Comments
mark_yelland-brown | June 20, 2008 - 09:00
Last line can be a killer,
and yours is a killer,
smashing Jennifer.
Gosh, you really get in character!!
jennifer | June 20, 2008 - 09:09
Thank you!
Yes, my mind has dark places... if you piss me off, you will tremor at the power of...
my words, my poetry.
I'm actually quite a skinny, unscary thing!
And I forgot to mention, this is from the Inspiration Point.
mark_yelland-brown | June 20, 2008 - 09:20
It's almost snap! I'm a chubby, unscary thing!
Back to your poetry,
you write like you could burst with imagery,
you need to be a bit, or slightly more distant with the personal poetry.
Believe it or not, slightly held back makes it more cutting and powerful.
And it's already great!
Caldwell | June 20, 2008 - 09:27
Brilliant - powerful and dangerous. One of the best I've read here so far.
sunshine | June 20, 2008 - 12:16
I think I get Mark's point but I love the imagery - it races through this poem and gives it such vitality. Margot
jennifer | June 20, 2008 - 12:18
I purge with poetry, it's why I'm such a bubbly, happy person.
All of it is personal.
But I know - show NOT tell, my usual problem!
Dynamaso | June 21, 2008 - 03:39
I actually disagree with Mark. I very much like how this is pissed off and personal. It shows the raw, human side to you. What an excellent piece this is and an instant favourite.
Aloe | July 13, 2008 - 08:15
I like the imagery in this. It reminds me of an oversaturated photo where there's too much colour and things stop looking realistic. Complements the drama.