In Imitation, I find Freedom bred from Limitation
(15th October 2008, 9.30am)
The copper hand grasps copper chain;
Elvis impersonation, death in the name
Of imitation. Different nation, same theme;
crime tape misplaced, mistaken scene.
The stench of alcohol the morning after;
the fox has been, the chickens scattered;
pour a swift half, kick that hairy dog -
need a stiffy, don’tcha? You saw the bog.
The doctor has an elegant autograph;
papers to mop up mess; no, don’t laugh
yet; God has yet to metre out the prize
and lunch is looming in the barman’s eyes.
I heard that ghosts linger in the outhouse;
pass the cherries, just one click of a mouse;
I copied and pasted, I rearranged your piece:
my murder mystery is your new dis-ease.
Comments
luigi_pagano | October 15, 2008 - 11:07
I can't remember what the challenge was so it is difficult for me to compare your re-write to the original piece. I vaguely recall that FTSE100's poem was full of alliterations but was it nonsense poetry? Your version seems to indicate that it was.
If that was the intent, it certainly works.
Just one query: on the third line of the third stanza did you mean to say 'metre' or was it 'mete' that was on your mind?
Luigi x
Stefano | October 15, 2008 - 14:57
Bonkers
FTSE100 | October 16, 2008 - 11:00
jennifer - thank you for taking up my challenge. I love your poem. Now, if I can just cut and paste it to replace mine... By the way, I prefer 'metre out', that's just how poetic justice ought to be dispensed!
luigi - my poem was indeed nonsense. If I were a genius I might be able to make deeply meaningful alliterative verse, but for one of my modest talents it's either the sound or the meaning. I can't do both simultaneously! Here's the original:
http://www.abctales.com/story/ftse100/may-all-your-underpants-be-wonderp...
I've grown quite fond of it since I wrote it. If you think you can do better, my challenge is still open!