Lifeline (14th January, 2009, 10.05am)
Look at me,
See what I’m making:
Love for you,
Here for the taking
But emotions blind,
Construct lies from truth,
Turn my independence
Into want, want into need
Until, like a vine, I’m choking you.
Blind, you cannot see;
I hang a lifeline in my eyes
Which you misread.
I bleed but cannot cry.
Look at me,
See what I’ve become;
You changed me;
I hate what you have done,
The damage swells;
What attracted now repels,
Pull has turned to push
And I strain, intent as hell
Bent, on my escape, I detach myself.
Cold, I cannot feel;
I hang a goodbye in my heart
And watch you kneel.
I scream as we wrench apart.
Jennifer Pickup
Comments
Theresa C Newbill (not verified) | January 28, 2009 - 16:00
Again, the capitalization at the beginning of every line is very amateurish and the poem in and of itself is a bit sophmoric.
BL | February 21, 2009 - 20:13
I found one of your poems by accident and loved it. I have been going through some of your others for about the past hour, haha.
I like this one a lot. The style, the way it was written, just adds to the feeling. Its very deep and meaningful... and sad.
It actually reminds me of my mom, haha.
Great job.
~BL