Pinhole Photographer (22nd September 2008, 3.51pm)
Slow light across a lazy sky;
I sit and wait; Time’s a fly
biting at my skin; impatient I ain’t;
I’m the original fisherman,
chess-player, bus-stop decorator.
Goggle-eyes; I won the staring
contests, taught my children
phonetics, didn’t get stressed;
all perfect preparation for
my boxed-in world, tiny obsession.
Light’s a magical thing; I
try to entice it to bend its rays
my ways; no digitised fakery,
no bang-click-go image-ready;
I am the pinhole photographer:
I take it steady.
Comments
john_silver | September 22, 2008 - 15:10
Again, a nice piece of work. Sorry for the grammar-nazi, but it should read "light bends ITS rays" and not "IT'S rays." Also, why capitalise the word "Time"? It doesn't really seem necessary to me, and I'm assuming it's not a grammatical mistake since you don't capitalise any of the other words after the semi-colons. Anyway, good job.
jennifer | September 22, 2008 - 17:12
Ewan, Margot - I have no idea who Tom Waits is, but thank you for the compliments all the same. This one just came, running off my hands at the end of a long day - in which an ex-colleague of mine sent some advertising about his pinhole photography exhibition, 'Slow Light'.
John Silver - I do believe I am an idiot. My only excuse is that I'm picking up bad habits from my Year Nines! Of course I realise that 'it's' is never used as a possessive! And yes, Time was intentional. It was capitalised for effect.
sunshine | September 22, 2008 - 19:15
yes - agree with Ewan. On first read I raced through but after reading his comment I tried it to the rhythym of 'The Heart of Saturday Night' Magic. Margot
Ewan | September 23, 2008 - 06:58
I really do like this one; I think it's the rhythm, I could hear Tom Waits growling this one out over an uptempo accompaniment from his junkyard orchestra.
'Time's a fly biting at my skin'
Beautiful inversion, twisting(?) of the time flies cliche.
'no bang-click-go image-ready:' rat-tat-tat just liked the sound of it and the punchy rhythm of the whole piece's contrast with the slow, patient pace of pinhole photography.
Last line is a great finish.
I would give it fruit, were it up to me.
regards
Ewan
tcook | September 26, 2008 - 09:31
This one ain't for me. I found the rhythm annoying, the rays/ways rhyme ridiculous and the opening hackneyed.
Ooer. I'm getting mean in my old age - but jennifer is one of our very best poets so it's best if I'm frank when I think she's off line - and who am I, finally, to judge?