Rock, River, Rock (1st March, 2009, 12.08pm)
Rock, river, rock;
sway me in your arms
like a babe with a smile;
slow-grow in me
a penchant for your deep,
green charms.
You slide, slurp, slide
past my little blue boat
like a great darkling snake
or a medieval moat;
gurgle, bubble, gurgle;
I listen to your tunes;
like a street-busking girl
you fill my room
and my mind; I hear
blue moon.
You slither, slip, slither
past my soft-floating ship
like the midgard serpent
or a half-stunned basilisk;
hum, river, hum;
wrap me in your sounds
like a blanket of song;
instill in me
a keening for your voice,
undrowned.
Jennifer Pickup
Comments
littleditty | March 1, 2009 - 13:06
liked the first verse especially, and the repeated snake and castle imagery - lots of symbolic imagery in this journey down a soft, singing river, sail on! Enjoyed.
Silver Spun Sand | March 1, 2009 - 13:21
Gosh!! There seems to be lot of water around this afternoon on ABC:-)
Great poem, Jennifer ... and my favourite lines:-
"I listen to your tunes;
like a street-busking girl
you fill my room
and my mind; I hear
blue moon."
Lovely song too, 'Blue Moon'.
T X
JimTovey | March 1, 2009 - 17:22
Pretty and light feeling to the poem. Being a sailor on the first read I was alarmed at the soft-floating ship reading it as soft floating; bringing flashes of impending doom as a weak and flexing section of hull suddenly gives way. Though a second glance at that verse corrected this. perhaps another word or softly? only a suggestion - Jim
jennifer | March 1, 2009 - 19:18
Softly wouldn't scan - I feel my narrowboat is soft-floating in that she sits so high in the water - there is very little draft on these things!
The river is so gentle and green and still today - so peaceful after the snowmelt floods! She inspired me!
Thank you to everyone for the comments!
J x
threeleafshamrock | March 1, 2009 - 20:43
Lovely stuff Jen; quite soothing and spring like. I could almost feel the season changing ;) Enjoyed!
Chris X
Nathan Bednarek | March 2, 2009 - 23:13
Brilliant, amazing, soothing.
Another little gem. Well done.
Nathan.
jennifer | March 4, 2009 - 12:48
Thank you boys! She's angrier today, what with last night's storm!
J x