Spewing. Vice. Itches. (18th September, 2008, 12.00pm)
I was shopping windows and
reflections as the street heaved,
belly up, cracking the pavements
with colour, spewing faces at me;
a sea of eyes, medusa-like, and I,
the girl who cannot swim, dived
into a mess of ravenous sharks,
waving my useless credit card
like a life raft, a piece of meat.
A parting, suddenly; carried along
on a silent wave through the throng
and, stepping over cracks, I knocked
a solid arm. You grasped; shoulder
in a vice, rat in a trap; I met your
eyes, and the shock of recognition
clawed at my fur, erect as hackles,
and sharpened fingernails or knives
traced catchphrases down my spine.
A wrench. Start my engine! Fast, you
bitch, snapping at my heels; I can’t
look a second time. I freed my eyes,
your hand imprinted, staining my coat
with invisible ownership; nimble goat
ducks and dives until a distance forms;
the back of your head as you turn; I
watch you from my higher vantage.
My credit card itches; therapy costs.
Comments
Nathan Bednarek | September 18, 2008 - 11:39
This is a gem Jen (see what I did there ;-p ) anyways, enough with the childishness.
I really like this poem, the structure is perfect, not a single word out of place. The imagery is wonderful and the most memorable lines for me in this poem are:
'waving my useless credit card
like a life raft, a piece of meat.'
and
'and sharpened fingernails or knives
traced catchphrases down my spine.'
and
'watch you from my higher vantage.
My credit card itches; therapy costs.'
Funnily enough, they're the last two lines of each stanza, which is great because each stanza is finished with a spit'n'polish image. This is perfect poetry.
Great job!
Nathan.
Ewan | September 20, 2008 - 10:48
I like your poem too Jen, not that sure about the title though...
just wondering too about the invisiblity staining?
'your hand imprinted, staining my coat
with invisible ownership;'
but it's thought-provoking, mind!
Ewan