Unbelievable, Chapter Eleven

Chapter Eleven: A Rush of Blood to the Head

I sat on the wall, spinning my pen in my hand. It was Monday morning, and I was waiting to pounce, a lazy cat basking in the first rays of more sunlight. Only, as it turned out, it was my turn to be the prey that morning.

‘Morning, Moon! Are you feeling new?’ Mika bounded up from nowhere and launched himself up onto the wall beside me. Twisting, swinging on a strong, brown wrist, dreads flying, he dropped to sit beside me.

Thigh to thigh, we sat in silence for all of three seconds…

‘Not chatty, then?’ he drew out a tipped cigarette, offering me the packet. ‘Go on, Miss Perfect: they won’t kill you straight away, y’know!’ he quipped.

I selected a cigarette. He whipped it from my fingers and lit it for me, resting both his own and mine between his full lips, cupping his hand to shade them from the strong breeze. Then he placed it gently back between my fingers.

He studied me as he inhaled deeply. ‘Do you talk before nine o’clock?’ he raised one dark eyebrow.

‘Not to strangers,’ I replied, raising my hand to draw. ‘Unless they have sweets.’ I smiled wryly, glancing back at him.

‘Hang on,’ he rummaged in his rucksack. ‘Here you go!’ he announced, and before I could speak further, a packet of skittles was open and ready. He grinned, lasciviously. ‘Would you like a sweetie, little girl? What’s your name then? Would you like a ride in my car?’

‘You don’t have a car,’ I pointed out.

‘Yes, I do,’ he shook the packet, selecting the red and green skittles with a cigarette-laden hand. ‘It just doesn’t happen to be working at present. What’s your favourite colour?’ he shook the packet again.

‘Blue,’ I replied.

‘There isn’t blue. Try again.’

‘Black.’ I was being obtuse.

‘Ah, Stick-land’s tastes are catching. Just like her diets.’

‘What’s that supposed to mean?’ I was defensive, but he’d known which buttons to press.

He grabbed my wrist, so suddenly that I dropped the cigarette onto my lap.

‘Shit! Watch what you’re doing!’ I cursed irritably, and picked it from my lap with my other hand, rubbing the place where it had marked my jeans.

‘Sorry. But look, this ain’t good.’ He pointed to my thin wrist, the tendons starting to show, the bones slightly proud.

‘I’m aware that I’m not exactly obese,’ I retorted, ‘but I do eat. I just don’t have much of an appetite these days.’

‘What happened?’ the question was direct and his eyes challenged mine.

‘When?’ I shrugged, trying to take back possession of my arm.

‘In the past, to make you collapse in a screaming fit, you know what I’m talking about!’ he gripped my wrist more tightly.

‘Bad stuff. Stuff I don’t want to talk about; that bad. Leave it alone?’

‘I hate it.’ His nails started to dig in.

‘You hate it? Hate what? My past?’ I snorted, unsure what the hell he was playing at.

‘Yeah,’ he said simply, holding my gaze intently. ‘Whatever it was that screwed you up. Although, it’s the reason you’re here, and I like that.’ He sounded almost philosophical.

‘Ah, you see,’ I began, deciding to take back control of the escalating situation. ‘That’s what it was all for. Everything that happened was all part of Fate’s big master plan which would culminate in you and I meeting.’

‘And what if it was?’ he challenged. ‘Don’t you believe in Destiny?’

He made it sound magical, mystical, otherworldly. The word hung in the air between us, locking the moment.

‘One day,’ he continued, ‘when you look back, you might see it.’

‘See what?’

‘The truth of things.’

‘You sound like some sort of religious guru,’ I joked, sucking on my cigarette, trying to ignore the pain as his grip kept pressing on my wrist.

‘Spiritual, I’ll grant,’ he agreed. ‘You’re not going to tell me, are you?’ he sighed, twisting my wrist slightly, as if absently.

‘Why should I? I barely know you.’ I pointed out.

‘We’ve been introduced.’

‘You’re a social butterfly; you don’t stick around long enough to finish conversations.’ I sighed. ‘Besides, we haven’t got any subjects together.’

‘Well, why don’t we spend some time together out of school hours, then?’ he drew my wrist towards him, so that the rest of my body had to follow, until we were practically nose to nose. ‘Because, despite the lack of style and the thinness, you’re actually quite pretty.’ He had dropped his voice to a beguiling whisper. Close up, he really was devastating, and he knew it. Wide, dark eyes, full of fire and life, followed mine as I travelled his face, stopping to appreciate the shapes and curves…it had been so long since I’d been this intimately close to a member of the opposite sex, I had almost forgotten…

I closed my eyes and David’s face appeared, laughing across the car…no! Suspended above mine on his bed, as the stereo blared out the Kings of Leon…

‘Your sex is on fire…’ he breathed, dropping his elbows slightly to steal a kiss.

I raised my head to reach his lips, felt the warmth of them wrap around mine, felt him draw my hand round his waist, his other hand sneaking around the back of my neck to grab a handful of hair. Our lips moved together, exploring…he tasted of cigarettes and smelt…different.

Eyes snapped open as my body started to respond to the strong, slick tongue teasing my lips apart.

‘No!’ I gasped, pushing Mika away. Bruised, dark eyes above wet, warm lips. His smell was everywhere, the scent of summer and deodorant, some sort of aftershave or cologne…

‘What is it?’ he resisted my resistance, holding a handful of my hair in his large, brown hand, the possessiveness of the gesture not escaping me.

‘Too…soon…’ I choked, swallowing tears that threatened to drench my cheeks. Crying in public was a humiliation I did not want him to witness.

‘You have to tell me what happened.’ It was a statement bordering on an order. He wasn’t letting go, literally and metaphorically.

‘Can’t you just accept that I’m not ready for…’ I gestured helplessly with my free hand, the one that wasn’t still pressing against his muscular shoulder. ‘This.’ I swallowed, trying to suppress the rush of conflicting emotions.

‘No. I won’t accept it. Whatever happened to you, life goes on. And I for one am not going to let your life go on without you actually living it.’ He grinned, arrogantly, so sure of himself.

‘Why?’ I felt my shoulders collapsing slightly, the tension flowing from my body as he continued to grin at me.

‘Too good to waste. Call it my new calling. You’re the most interesting girl I’ve met so far this month…’ and he laughed, relaxing his hand from my hair and draping it instead around my shoulders. He pulled me against him, and I allowed my hand to drop, leaning into his embrace. Stubbing out his cigarette, he removed mine from my limp hand, flicking it backwards over the wall, and then the Skittles were out again. He fished out a red one and gently slid it into my mouth. I started to chew, the rush of juicy fakery flooding across my tongue. After weeks of Maggie-food, the sweet tasted foreign and dangerous. I felt like Adam once more, the thick, warm arm across my back the tempting servant, and Mika some sort of masculine Eve.

‘So, first, you feed me like a baby. What’s next in the rehabilitation process?’ I joked, seeking his fingers and the orange Skittle that was next on the menu.

‘Well, you won’t talk, apparently, so I’m going to take you somewhere where you can’t.’ He raised an eyebrow, challenging me to guess.

‘The Library?’ I pulled a face.

‘Geek!’ he teased. ‘No, not the Library. Guess again.’

‘The theatre?’

‘I’m talking to somebody from the second-to-last century, aren’t I? Don’t they have the modern world where you come from?’

‘Isn’t the point of a date to match the venue to the person you’re trying to impress?’ I observed wryly.

‘Oh, it’s a date, is it? And only seconds ago you were telling me that you weren’t ready for such things.’ He squeezed me tighter.

‘Kissing is the problem,’ I cautioned.

‘Really? I thought your technique was great, personally. That thing you did with your tongue was ace.’ Deep, dark eyes met mine again. I shuddered slightly, realising that I might well be in a little bit of trouble.

‘Not the technique, muppet,’ I grabbed the packet of Skittles and poured a selection of colours into the palm of my hand. ‘Not the what or the how, but the who, the why and then when.’ I flung the entire palmful of sweets into my mouth and chewed, savouring the clash of flavours, the greediness of it.

‘So you’d rather kiss someone else, some other time for some other reason,’ he mused, stealing back the skittles. ‘Just as well I’m your therapist and not your boyfriend then, isn’t it?’

‘Isn’t it?’ I agreed, reaching my hand around his back and rooting in his jeans pocket for his packet of cigarettes. Drawing it out, I quickly stole one.

He laughed, offering me his lighter. ‘Included in my fee, are they?’

‘Uhuh,’ I agreed, inhaling deeply. ‘What’s your going rate for an hour’s worth of counselling?’

‘Payment in kind only accepted.’ He winked. ‘Not involving kissing. Like a prostitute, traditionally. Full sex? I’ll settle for a blow job.’

I elbowed him in the ribs.

‘Oh, ok, just the pleasure of your company at the cinema this evening. We can discuss payment for further sessions when you’re drunk and at my place.’

‘And when is that going to occur?’ I couldn’t help it, I was flirting back outrageously. David’s face was stuck to the inside of my eyelids. I tried not to blink.

‘Whenever I manage to lure you there. Skittles seem to be working. Perhaps next time, I’ll up the anti to chocolate…Galaxy? Toblerone? What’s your poison?’

‘The darker the better,’ I grinned.

‘Like the tan, eh?’ he stroked his toned, deep brown arm. ‘Much better than Goldilocks.’

‘Goldilocks?’ it had to be another of his nicknames.

‘Arun Bond. Stick-land’s bitch.’ He lit another cigarette, crumpling the now-empty Skittles packet.

‘Do you have to be so fucking derogatory?’ I frowned, flicking my cigarette irritably at him. Ash fell on his jeans. He grinned, defiantly, not giving a flying toss.

‘Please don’t tell me you fancy him,’ he sighed, smokily.

‘Afraid of a little competition?’ I arched an eyebrow.

‘And what competition would that be?’ he drew me closer, wrapping both arms around my waist, breathing heavily on my neck. Thick, warm lips started kissing the top of my spine and the shivers started to run, like tiny bolts of current, leaping from hair to upraised hair, until they were all erect and throbbing in anticipation.

Oh, hell.

‘No sex before school!’ Tienna’s voice boomed across my bliss, shattering the moment. It lay in shards at our feet, David’s face reappearing like a hallucination. It had started to feel like a haunting, as if he wasn’t quite ready to let me go. But Mika’s words had struck a chord; I had to start living my life.

I had already begun to push at the boundaries; Maggie, Elyssa, Arun and now Mika were helping me press back the edges of numbness and oblivion and find the strong, true colours that had so long remained obscured. Only, the colours hurt my eyes, each one of the rainbow spectrum striking a different chord, the faces of the four dead now astride horses, the imagery I had conjured of four horsemen riding, riding, riding flooding across reality as my world started to explode. Was I rushing towards some sort of apocalypse of my own creating? Was I arrogant to believe that I was actually responsible for or in control of any of this? Was everything linked to the Destiny that Mika insisted upon?

‘Come on, you two, I don’t want to see that right after breakfast!’ Tienna nearly dragged me from Mika’s arms.

‘Jealous, much?’ Mika teased her.

‘Of what, white boy?’ she teased, aligning her bare forearm with his as if to prove some kind of superiority. ‘Don’t you think Neo’s got enough to deal with without you drooling all over her?’

‘It’s a particularly special brand of therapy,’ Mika laughed.

‘Sex therapy?’ Tienna snorted.

‘Well, the school counsellor never offered me that!’ I chimed in, giggling, shaking off my cloud of darkened thought.

‘Gross!’ Tienna exclaimed. ‘Old people should be banned from having sex!

‘Isn’t that a bit ageist? I hope I’m still enjoying such things when I’m old and grey!’ I giggled.

‘Enjoying them now you’re young and colourful might be more beneficial,’ Mika whispered in my ear, reconnecting our bodies together by re-draping his arm around my shoulders as we followed Tienna towards the main hall for a special sixth form assembly. She had spotted Eric, Josh, Shannon and Tom and was hurrying to meet them, leaving us free to saunter behind in companionable silence.

*

As we entered assembly, I instinctively ducked from under Mika’s arm as I caught sight of Arun and Elyssa lurking at the back. A sharp stab of guilt shot through me as I sat with the loud, laughing group of friends that had absorbed me. I should be aligning myself with the other freaks, my two extraordinary friends, shouldn’t I? Especially since I needed their help with my next experiment.

Lecture about attendance, coursework, role models and responsibility over, we filed back out into the sunlight. I hung back, losing myself in the crowds, seeking out my two thin allies.

‘Well?’ Arun’s voice stung across my consciousness, and a cold hand grabbed my wrist. He pulled me back into the shelter of the great, red curtains that were used to cut out all light from the hall during drama performances and such. Elyssa was leaning against the wall, languid and quiet.

‘I can’t drown. I tried again. I can’t break; the healing gets faster every time. Next: mutilation.’ I felt formal, a scientist, my own potential fate viewed as if through a magnifying glass, distorted and strangely abstract.

‘How far are you prepared to go?’ he demanded, eyes of ice boring into mine. I cringed, inwardly.

‘How far is too far?’ I returned. ‘I won’t know until it’s too late, I suppose.’

‘Would you risk permanent damage to discover your human bonds?’ he was arch, calculating.

‘Explain.’ it was a plea.

‘What if, in the course of these…experiments…you take steps too far; would you risk everything to understand what you are?’

I was none the wiser.

Elyssa intervened. ‘He means: would you go as far as cutting off your arm if you couldn’t be certain it would grow back?’

‘Where does your humanity end and your inhumanity begin?’ Arun smiled, The Jabberwocky once again.

‘Where does yours?’ I snapped back. ‘Do you know? How far did you go before you stopped?’

He smiled, wryly. ‘It’s not equatable,’ he pointed out. ‘We’ve established our differences. Your strength lies in your individuality, but how far are you prepared to stretch your faith?’

‘I don’t know,’ I admitted.

‘You need only answer one question,’ Elyssa said, quietly. ‘Do you need to know the bounds of your abilities, or are you content to wait until you are tested, that is, if you are ever tested?’

‘Can you live with just one arm?’ Arun smiled, a little cruelty shining through.

‘Can you live with the questions that will inevitably be asked, if you end up with just one arm?’ Elyssa pressed the higher button in my mind.

Discovery. In all its glorious ambiguity, the word resounded throughout my situation.

‘Tonight,’ Arun decided for me. ‘We’ll start. We can stop at any time, it’s up to you; after all, it’s your mortality.’

And they both smiled; a curious, secretive smile that played with their lips and touched lights in their eyes.

I shivered, feeling like the outsider, not privy to the secret they both shared. For the first time, it dawned on me to consider my two extraordinary friends. I had been so obsessed with my own discovery, I had glossed over their abilities in my mind, but now they haunted me, as they continued to smile and the bell rang out, echoing across the now-empty hall. For the first time, I pondered what it meant to be unbreakable. Unbreakable in the way that Arun and Elyssa were. I healed, certainly, but they had no need of my ability; their own overshadowed mine the way an expert in an art overshadows a beginner. My mind spiralled into a million questions as we drifted to our respective lessons, Arun’s simple ‘Tonight. Same place. After hours.’ throbbing eerily, connecting us.