Donor - A Sequel, Of Sorts

I gave blood yesterday, for the first time. It hurt, more than I imagined it would, but it wasn’t as painful as I thought it was going to be. If you can’t see the difference between the two then just trust me – there is one.

I went to the donation center because giving blood is a good thing; like giving change to the guy on the street or leaving a book on a bus or dropping a quarter into a vending machine and not vending. Little things that require no huge effort but benefit someone you either don’t know or will never meet. That’s how I like to think of it anyway. I didn’t book an appointment but that was OK because the nurse said that they would be able to slot me in somewhere. She took some of my personal details – she was very pleased to hear that I was already on the Organ Register – then she gave me a pen and a clipboard with a questionnaire and an information pamphlet and asked me to take a seat over one side of the hall. There were only a few people sitting there and they were all reading dog-eared lifestyle magazines so I didn’t say hi to them or anything even though I would have liked to because I wanted to know if they had given blood before and if so, what it was like. I mean, I’m sure the nurses would tell me if I asked but they might have couched their response in reassurances and I didn’t want reassurances, I just wanted to know how much it would hurt. I imagine that that would be most peoples’ first question the first time they give blood, but I don’t know for sure.

I read through the pamphlet but that didn’t take too long because I had already picked one up at the community hall where I had seen the blood drive advertised earlier that week. Then I took up the pen and began work on the questionnaire. There were lots of questions, like Was I Between 18 And 65 Years Of Age, which I was and Had I Given Blood Within The Last 12 Months which I hadn’t and Was I A Pregnant Woman Or A Recent Mother which I wasn’t and Had I Had A Piercing Or A Tattoo Within The Last 12 Months which I hadn’t because I didn’t really like people sticking needles into me although on this occasion I was prepared to make an exception on account of it being for a good cause and Was I A Man Who Had Had Anal Or Oral Sex With Another Man (Even If I Used A Condom) which I wasn’t although I had come close to having oral sex one time with Joseph Caramello but just as he was about to put his mouth around me his dad walked in on us and went crazy. He threw me out of the house and I didn’t see Joseph for almost a week until he crept into my room through my bedroom window one night and even though it was dark I could see he was cut and bruised all over his face and body. He slept at mine that night and we didn’t even try to have any kind of sex because he was all swollen and it hurt for him even to move, but we lay curled up inside of each other and I waited for him to go to sleep before I let myself close my eyes.

The other questions were all about my general health like Was I On Any Antibiotics or Had I Had Any Major Surgery Recently and Did Any Members Of My Family Have Any Conditions That Are Best Described Using Awkward Acronyms and I thought about how healthy a person must have to be to give blood and this was good news because I wasn’t and I hadn’t and they didn’t and so I reckoned I was in pretty decent shape, which is always good to know although I drink maybe more than I should and sometimes I smoke but they didn’t ask me about those things so I guess they’re not important when it comes to giving blood although I should maybe try and quit the smoking sometime. There was also a part that asked Had I Ever Received Payment In Return For Sex which I hadn’t ever but when I woke up in my bed with Joseph Caramello the next morning I did jerk him off and later that day he bought me a milkshake and told me that he had really liked it (the jerking off, not the milkshake) which I know isn’t exactly what the questionnaire wanted to know but it had made me feel a bit weird at the time.

One of the nurses came over and took my questionnaire and checked it and said that everything looked to be in order and would I care to step over to one of their booths because they just needed to take a little sample of my blood first to check my iron levels and I did and they stuck a little stamp with a tiny needle into my thumb which I didn’t like, not so much because it hurt, which it did, a little, but because I wasn’t expecting it which I think is sometimes the worst thing. The nurse that had pricked me fastened a plaster round my thumb and squeezed the drops into a tiny little container that looked like the tubs I kept my contact lenses in. The drops sank which was good because it meant I had enough iron in my blood and she sent me over to the back of the hall where another nurse helped me to lie down on a stretcher bed and began fiddling with plastic bags and tubes and drips.

The nurse that had checked my iron levels passed over a little report sheet and the other nurse – the one that was fiddling with the bags and tubes and drips informed me that I was blood-type O Negative. I already knew that although I didn’t tell her. I also knew that only about 6 per cent of the population had blood-type O Negative. I also also knew that Joseph Caramello had the same blood type because they had told him that after he’d gotten back from the hospital that time his dad had beat him up. He’d told the doctors that a bunch of guys had attacked him and it was dark and he didn’t know them but I don’t think that they – the doctors – believed him because Joseph Caramello was a terrible liar, even when he was lying about really cute stuff and saying things like No We’re Not Doing Anything Special For Your Birthday, We’re Just Going For A Drive when really he was taking me for a weekend trip to the city.

The nurse made me lay right back and she swabbed my arm with a wipe which I liked because I could smell the clean alcohol and she told me that she was going to insert the needle now and that I would feel a sharp scratch and I did and it reminded me of the time I had fallen into a rose bush when I was a kid and a thorn had dug right into me and I hadn’t bled but the thorn had stuck fast and it was the most painful thing I had ever experienced up until that point. I held my breath until all I could feel was a dull throb in my arm and the nurse told me to gently flex my fists until she told me to stop which she did about three minutes later. Afterwards, as I sat at a table sipping at a styrofoam cup filled with juice and nibbling on a biscuit, one of the nurses – the first one I had met – told me that I had very good, fast blood and that if I wanted to I could make regular appointments with them and I said that I would like to do that.

The last time I saw Joseph Caramello he was all busted up again, worse than before although I knew it couldn’t have been his dad because he had died a few years earlier. We spoke a little and he told me that he had almost needed a blood transfusion this time, he’d been beaten so badly. That was when I had decided to make a donation. I couldn’t ever know that if he needed a transfusion again that it would be my blood that they would use but I think the odds are pretty good. It did mean that I wouldn’t ever be able to have anal or oral sex with another man (even if I used a condom) at least for the foreseeable future which upset me because I’m pretty sure that that might be something I would like, but some things are worth forgoing for other things I guess. When I saw Joseph he was with someone else – he introduced him to me as My Boyfriend and then he introduced me to his Boyfriend as A Guy I Knew From School.

It hurt, seeing him like that again, more than I imagined it would, maybe because I wasn’t expecting it which is sometimes the worst thing, but it wasn’t as painful as I thought it was going to be. If you can’t see the difference between the two then just trust me – there is one.