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The Disciple

Posted by john_silver on April 20, 2010 - 11:33
from the ABC set Sonnets

If you let them say you’re free,
And you let them, like they do,
Take their guns to me and you,
They will frame you, and you’ll see,
All your gains will be their own,
You will work without effect,
Craving ripples of respect
Till you’re chewed and sucked as bone.
You who stand before their lines
And are reaching for the sea,
Shun their medals, spill their wines,
Let their song funereal be
Who laboriously lay mines
On the path of History.

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Comments

h jenkins | April 20, 2010 - 19:10

I did enjoy the metre to this. Gives a strident, angry feel to it. Lines of three and a half feet long, I suppose it is. It's unusual but quite effective.

A bit naughty to rhyme 'be' with the usually unstressed ending of 'history' but I've done the same myself in a poem on here so it must be all right! ;)

A good alternative take on the sonnet, I think. I liked it.

Helvigo Jenkins

john_silver | April 21, 2010 - 13:52

Thanks Helvigo. The metre is trochaic tetrametre, so yeah, that's three and a half feet.