Midnight Blue

I live in a small and undistinguished town on the outskirts of Insanity. Close enough to commute, except the roads are all one way and the underground never comes up again. The tramp shakes Maracas in the park. I said, this is our song, this is our song, but you were too busy waltzing to hear. The cat got stuck in the neighbour's tree. I climbed the tree, the cat sprang down, the branch went wwwhom wwhwom wwhom wwhom, the world got stuck in two. The fireman said ——— he tickled the tip of my penis with the end of a very long stick.

The dining room table shines so bright, so cruel! I have felt tonic water froth up my nose! I have seen sheets of paper with footprints on one side!

The cat spies me from the shed's black roof. Those empty Moomin faces — why do they Wurzel in the street? The sun glares through a hole in the sky. I know the roll of shoulderblades under sleek black fur, the rub of cheek on shin. We put the rug on the grass and the food on the rug and we oiled our skin and we hugged and we hugged and we hugged and we

I am not the only one! I am not the only one!

The sun says, Miaow.

The cat says, A bar of light beneath closed shutters. A building's chilly shadow printed on the pavement. A market in a sweaty street — when were you here before? I know what you want, like morning sunshine in your holiday flat, like wet grass on a cloudy day. And I know what you fear. There is a point in every summer when summer never ends. A crack in winter where nothing can begin.

I am the one and only!

The suncat says, The haze is gone by noon. The lake looks like a postcard, the pine trees and the mountains might or might not be there. Love burns on a freezing train. The sun licks your body, the beach holds your body. Desire bleeds and dies like dusk. I've seen a billion times a billion lives, think I never guessed the ending? A billion leaves, a trillion loves, want a tear for every one?

There are no words if I can't hear. I told her that a dozen times, there are no words if I can't hear. She wasn't listening. I close my nose. When I open it the sun and the cat and the faces are gone. The sky is dark blue. So dark, dark blue. So, sprayed with stars, so

No more church bells! No more footsteps on the pavement!

Terror fades, the branch stops shaking, I am the real me. I am the real me! I thank the night and the stars and the starry night and the stars blow their nose and the night clears its throat and pauses for dramatic effect and says:

I am midnight blue.
I am well versed in the likes of you:
You flinch all day from the hard grey light
Then you beg of falling night
"Wrap me in your inky arms
Keep me far away from harm"

Well this night ain't tender
And you ain't Fitzgerald on a bender.

I'll show you fear in a kick in the nuts
I'll drive that green fuse up your quivering butt.
I'll bring you babies burned to leather,
Skulls staved in for a moment's pleasure,
faces wrecked by electric pain
And fear of the current coming again.
I'll rape you with a razor blade,
Turn your piss to cherryade.
I'll crush your ribs
And crack your spine
And spit your eyes like whelks in brine.
I'll make you crawl for morning telly
And an office job, and a flabby belly.

And when you're sobbing in a heap
When you never, ever sleep
You'll remember not to hide
In dreams and night
And dreamdrunk lies
Cause I am midnight fucking blue
And I will split your skull in two.