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Blizzard of butterflies

Posted by Kahdai on December 27, 2010 - 22:25
from the ABC set Me, you & my world

There was such confusion,
even though it was a big space
with many empty fields and woods,
I suddenly felt trapped and afraid.
I don't need you to understand my words,
my feelings alone will do, so can you,?
any other time not now, yet all I know
how to do is run away, only not from you.

I could almost hear you calling me,
running away, yet always looking back
as I was watching for a stop sign
that didnt come, just shout stop.
Please believe I really want to.

I thought I saw you fade,
dissapearing like a ghost
in the snow, you, oh no I
started to run, back to you
with a blizzard of butterflies
white flurrying, into my eyes,
and as I slowed, closer to you
they fell down, into my stomach,
holding back my nerve and tears,
fluttering my heart, in my chest
and throat, stammering in my voice,
until you,
put a hot hand
onto my
frozen face,
melted my frozen tears,
the butterflies all flew away.

So spiral into the sky,
leave me alone,
and never return again.

Discuss this piece in the abctales forum


Comments

EpheLuwe | December 27, 2010 - 22:32

I like this one. It's really compact but so definitive :)
Well done

Kahdai | December 27, 2010 - 22:33

well it will be better wehn its finished, thank you :)

MistakenMagic | December 28, 2010 - 19:04

Hello Kahdai - I like the conciseness of this piece. Just caught a few typos in the drafting process:

'feilds' - fields

'aolne' - alone

Not sure what you mean by 'nid yu'? What am I missing? hehe ;)

Magic xxx

Lem | December 28, 2010 - 20:46

Nid= need ;)

Silver Spun Sand | December 29, 2010 - 10:43

Hi there, Kahdai, I am glad you used those wonderful words of yours 'Blizzard of Butterflies' in a poem;-)

It is coming along nicely, and with a bit more work could be good.

Tina ;-)x

Highhat | January 1, 2011 - 17:09

Yes a few tweaks as Tina remarked but a beautiful poem- love the title
;)Pia

Kahdai | January 3, 2011 - 19:53

Thank-you all, especially Tina
Lem and Magic for the help,
see it is finally done,
a very emotional one. K xxx

skinner_jennifer | January 5, 2011 - 17:36

Hi Kahdai,

nearly missed this poem, wow! what a great description, like Tina said I love the idea of a
Blizzard of Butterflies.

Thanks for the read.

Jenny.

Kahdai | January 5, 2011 - 17:42

Thank you Jenny! :) K x

Cavalcaderl | January 13, 2011 - 23:03

new Kahdai
Enjoyed all this.
Explaining beauitful butterflie,
in a different way,as we have them in
our stomaches,and take away our pain.
good.
julie xx

Kahdai | January 14, 2011 - 19:52

Thamk you Julie! I like that they could take away the pain, though I meant that they left when it went away so with all my nervous fears :) K xx