Not giving up

What turned such a warrior
into this,
sobbing uncontrolably
like a little child
told off by their mother.

Once their last hope is gone,
cant speak, have no answers
theres nothing left within.

Then as soon as your alone
put your hands
over your eyes
and let your head fall
onto your knees,
lie down from the chair
grab at the grass
mud over your face
struggle to keep hold
of reality
screaming yet
so quiet
because
I can hardly
care enough to breath.

It may look like I have given up completely
yet I promise I am still in there somewhere
yet for now all of me is at lost on wishing
that it can all go back to how it was before