Ode to an Age Old Struggle.

I really like this. I loved the last four lines especially. Wasn't sure about the word romance, but I know you won't like me saying that so ignore me, but anyway other than that one word...it's very good.

Thanks Doeslittle,
i'd be a fool to ignore criticism, please keep it up! do you think romance was'nt in keeping with the theme or style? or is it just awkward syntax? i'll look at it more, but its very difficult to change anything having syllable and rhyme requirements (which i found difficult to work in for the first time. i dont know if il return to this style)
thanks again.

I meant it just stuck out like a sore thumb as a word that I stumbled over in that line, 'romance forever swirls' -I just didn't like it, it didn't work for me. Never mind syntax and all that jazz - I'm no technician. However, it could just be me...others may get the line.

I really liked this keleph. Your first poem done in a structured, specific form and style; and it works very well. I loved the themes of love, science and religion interlacing all the way through. It's weaving and thoughtful and creates a brilliant ethos to it all. Well done. :)

thanks Law!
glad you liked it. maybe i will do another sonnet... its quite hard and at times i yearned to return to a simpler style, but i hope the result was worth it.
thanks again!

Powerful phrases and a keen description of what lays around us like a cobweb of imagination. Especially liked the line: "Visceral pink of flesh, a universe off key."