A week later, I was in the student union studying for finals while grabbing some lunch. My ass, though not entirely healed, was doing better. I could sit on hard surfaces again.
Yeah me.
I scheduled an appointment with my family gynecologist toward the end of the month and in my mind at least, it was a pivotal starting over point.
No more Joe.
No more college.
Starting over.
Joe didn’t try to contact me. At least I didn’t think so. My phone never rang. I spent four days in my room sitting on a pillow, slathering cream on my asshole, swallowing pills, duct taping walls on the compartments in my head, and taking a mental beating from Dr. V.
At the end of all the slathering, taping, and arguing, I decided to treat myself to an afternoon of student union brownies and study time in an area with talking, laughing, moving, human beings.
Joe hated the student union so the odds of me seeing him there were slim.
So, imagine my surprise when after only five minutes of gorging myself on rich chocolaty goodness, I looked up with a mouthful of brownie into familiar shit brown eyes.
He pulled out the chair opposite me, turned it around and sat astride, locking his arms around the back. He looked good in his tight Levis and white t-shirt; it showed off his muscular chest and biceps. My clit twitched in recognition.
Whoa. Down girl.
I wondered if the tan was from our trip. Did he stay out by the pool until the next day? Was he upset I left? Or relieved?
Dr. V: I thought we settled this. You don’t care remember?
Me: Right.
Dr. V: You’re done with him.
Me: Yup.
Dr. V: Whatever he wants, whatever he says..
Me: I know, I know. I got this.
Dr. V: Pffft.
He leaned forward, rested his chin on a wrist. “You still mad?”
I slowly finished chewing, wiped crumbs from my lap. My heart raced but I willed it back into the corral of self control, and by the time I locked the gate, the brownie was settled in my stomach.
I shrugged. “I wasn’t mad Joe. I was hurt. I needed a doctor.”
“I’m so sor,”
I cut him off. “Yeah I know. Let’s not relive it.”
Joe cocked a happy brow and reached for a brownie. I pulled the tray from his hand.
“You’re not going to share?”
“Not anymore,” I moved the plate to the side farthest from his reach.
He slumped, blew out a big breath, and frowned. “So that’s it then?”
I nodded, not trusting my voice.
“All that stuff I said?” he rubbed the back of his neck looking embarrassed.
“Didn’t buy a word of it.” I wanted all the things he said to be true. But after four long days listening to Dr. V in my head, I knew they were just empty words.
Joe laughed.
I frowned. What was so funny?
“What part gave me away? The always being by my side? The jealousy?” His eyes went wide. “The tears…I knew it was too much. Or, no wait, it was the love part wasn’t it?”
I sighed. Damn, leave a girl her illusions.
“Heh,” he sucked his teeth. “I knew I over played it with the love stuff. You’re way too smart to fall for that bullshit.”
Was he trying to make me feel better?
“So what do you want?” I decided the sooner this conversation ended, the quicker I could get back to the starting over part.
He gave me a quick nod. “I wanted to check on you. You didn’t have to leave ya know. The guys gave me shit the rest of the weekend. And I don’t know what you said to Steve, but he kept watching for the cops to show up.”
He stopped, waiting for me to comfort him, tell him it was ok.
I lifted a brow and crossed my arms under my breasts.
He lowered his voice. “That was just rough sex, it wasn’t rape Kel. But if you’re interested in that sort of thing, I can certainly hook you up.”
Small goose flesh broke out on my lower spine and marched up toward my neck. My heart tried to break its tether, but I willed it to calm.
Satisfied by my silence he went on. “Mark is engaged to the woman I love. Once we all marry I plan on being with her as often as possible so we can start having children. I wanted to bring you in because you’re the first woman I’ve met in four years that I actually like, and who fits the criteria. I’m tired of waiting.”
“That’s it?” My ego begged me not to ask for anymore.
He shrugged and looked around before bringing his eyes back to mine. “You’re an amazing fuck. My brothers agree, sliding into you is damn near heaven. None of the other women in the group can fuck like you. Not even close.”
“Should I be flattered?” I wasn’t bitter.
Really.
Joe shrugged. “Look. I don’t want you to hate me okay? I was rough, got carried away. I can only take so much time with Mark before losing my cool. I took it out on you. I’m sorry.”
I rolled my eyes. Joe wasn’t a threat to me anymore. I reached for the last brownie, broke it in two and handed him half. “Thanks for the apology.”
Joe gave me his best smile and bit into the sugary confection. “Mark confessed about the bar tender, said they fucked all night while you slept.”
After everything, that little shit told?
What a pussy. “He said you’d be mad.”
“I was,” Joe nodded. “He’s not supposed to fuck outside the circle once he has an engagement. I don’t want him taking any chances with my girl.”
For a moment I thought he was talking about me.
Then, I remembered.
Nice.
Real nice.
I bit into the brownie. “Why’d he tell?”
“Steve was so freaked out, he came back and insisted we all have our stories straight. He thought if you went to the police, and it looked like we were all there gang banging, well, they’d believe everything you said. So in this case the fact he was fucking someone else, really kinda helped us out.”
I didn’t have anything else to say. I was as done with Joe as the empty plate of brownies on the table.
I know he read it on my face.
“So,” he stood. “We’re good?”
A part of me was disappointed. If I ever doubted Joe and I were just, and only just, fuck buddies, the lack of inquiry about my future so close to graduation sealed it.
I nodded.
He leaned forward and slipped a small business card toward the middle of the table. He tapped his thick finger against it as he talked. “If you change your mind Kelly, give me a call. Don’t wait too long.”
He turned and walked away before I could think of a snappy line.
I picked up the card and gently placed it in my purse.
What?
A girl’s got to have options.
