I TELL THE TALE....

This is a nice summation of the process of creating rhyming poetry kheldar. Unfortunately, I stumble a bit in the second verse. It seems to lose the rhythm you have in the other two. The second and fourth lines seem a bit clunky to me. Can you see what I mean?

Hi Hourhouse,

Thank you for reading and commenting but thank you most of all for providing constructive criticism. I do see what you mean and I will revisit those lines accordingly.

Thanks again,

Kheldar :--)

Ah yes, I recognise that struggle, one I often lose! well put ;D xx

Why thank you Shirley, though from your finished aricles that is very hard to tell :D xxx

That's great. I really like that line - I shape the breath my mind exhales. It's a good description of the process. Thanks for sharing.

My pleasure Hourhouse, I believe the changed lines really improve the poem overall so thanks again for your input.

Really lovely ditty, David! Especially like the newly edited second verse ;)

Magic xxx

Thanks for your continuing support Magic, it really is appreciated. Pleased you like the edited verse, I too think it a great improvement over the original, even though I'd missed the inconsistencies myself (a phrase about forest and trees comes to mind!!)

David xxx

dont be so tough on yourself eh? writing used to be same for me, now it is simply for myself K xx

Kahdai, you've picked up the thoughts I was having as I wrote this perfectly... and I will try to follow your advice.

David xxx

good :D xxx

i can never quit manage to rhyme in poetry this is a master class in it well done (i do see the problem with stanza two; its the reverse of '...i tell the tale...' from the first stanza that seems not right some how.) Am i making any sense? Poetry isn't my best subject.
;)

You make perfect sense darkenwolf, and thank you for your appreciation of my rhyming. I on the otherhand struggle with free form poetry. That I guess is the joy of diversity.

Kheldar :--)

P.S. Arghhhhhhh - I've already revisited lines 2 and 4 of the second stanza, now you've got me wondering about line 1.

P.P.S. Ignore the "arghhhhh", I am actually glad when people tell me something doesn't quite work.

just remember that the critic isn't always right!
;)

I suspect free form poetry is a left brain thing, and with me, it's a flow of consciousness. The lines break where it seems appropriate.
Rhyming, scanning poetry seems more right brain, with its more rigid form and order.
Fortunately, I seem to be ticking over quite well on both sides!