Crandall the cat was busy sunning himself on his favorite window sill. A young woman came up the sidewalk and knocked on the door. It was the same woman who was dressed as a cat when Edwin had his Halloween party.....they same woman that stayed the night. Crandall's human companion, Edwin rushed to the door. Crandall yawned and said,"What the fuck Edwin...quit acting like a dog on a fat leg!"
Edwin called the woman,"Rita." They stood in the hallway...kissing and fondling. Crandall licked his right paw and said,"Enough already with the foreplay....fuck her Edwin!" Edwin and Rita were walking towards the bedroom..... kissing and pulling each others clothes off. Crandall grinned and said to himself,"I might as well entertain myself and watch these two have sex." Crandall jumped off of the window sill and rand ahead of them into the bedroom.
They kissed their way into the bedroom as Crandall made himself comfortable on the night stand. He watched her black bra fly to the floor...then Edwin's red and white striped underwear...then her black panties landed on the dresser. Just as Edwin began to mount her...Rita...with a giggle said,"I think we have company...very curious company." Edwin looked and saw Crandall staring at them. Edwin shouted,"Out Crandall....get out!"
Crandall didn't budge. Edwin said,"Shit...damn cat" as he dismounted Rita and stepped briskly over to grab Crandall. Edwin was sporting a half stiff member. Then Edwin shouted,"Fuck Crandall...that hurt!" Crandall swatted again but missed." As Edwin picked Crandall up....Crandall growled angrily and said,"Hey...it's a cat thing....if it dangles...we fucking swat it!"
Edwin tossed Crandall on the carpet and shut the door behind him. Crandall ran right back to the door and put his ear against it. He heard Rita...with a cutesy voice say,"Did that mean old kitty swat little Edwin?" Crandall said,"Little Edwin....he's fucking 6 feet tall!" Crandal pushed his ear harder to the door as she said,"Come here...I'll make it feel better."
Then Crandall heard nothing but humming. Crandall took his ear away from the door and said out loud to himself,"Why is she fucking humming?" He quickly eared the door again and heard Edwin saying,"Oh yeah...oh yeah Rita...damn that feels awesome." Rita began to hum louder as Edwin screamed with pleasure! Then....after Rita spit a few times...Edwin started humming....a muffle hum...but definitely humming. It wasn't long until Rita was squealing his name in ecstasy!
They were done and Crandall wasn't the least bit interested in after sex goo goo talk. Crandall was definitely interested in this new humming thingy. He wasn't about to let Edwin get one up on him so it was out the cat door to the alley to look for pussies! There she was....Mitsi was sunning herself by the Smith's bird bath. Crandall walked up to her and said,"Nice day huh?" Mitsy rolled a little...saw it was Crandall...spit out a feather and said,"Hello Crandall...I'm really not in the mood for sex...I just ate a sparrow."
Crandall smugly said as he plopped his behind in the grass,"Sex...why it didn't even cross my mind.......ever given a hummer?" Mitsi asked,"What may I ask...is a hummer? Crandall confidently said,"So naive....you hum while having sex...it's the latest and greatest way to have sex!" Mitsi asked,"Humming while having sex makes it better?" Crandall said,"Oh yeah...I heard Edwin and his new mate, Rita scream like famished kittens on fat titties!"
Mitsi thought for a moment...then said,"Well...OK....sounds like it might be fun?" Mitsi positioned herself and Crandall climbed on. Mitsi began humming "The Sound Of Music." as Crandall stayed still on her back. She hummed and hummed until Crandall began to get bored. He said,"I got nothing going on down there...try a new song....maybe..."Cat Scratch Fever...yeah...try that!" Mitsi started humming the song and Crandall even hummed along but nothing happened.
Mitsi looked around at Crandall and said,"I just don't see how humming can make sex better...and I can't hum on the end you are in." A light bulb went off in Crandall's head! Crandall dismounted her and shouted,"Shit...that's it...that's why Rita was spitting after Edwin quit screaming!" Crandall flipped around and told Mitsi to lay on her back. He said,"First of all...there's a no swatting or biting rule."
Mitsi said,"You want me to put that in my mouth and hum?" Crandall said,"Yip...and you can hum Julie Andrews, Ted Nugent...hell...even Michael fucking Bolton!" Mitsi began humming,"How Much Is That Doggy In The Window." Crandall thought out loud,"Patti Page......oh well...hum baby hum!" Crandall started feeling it.....his grin got bigger and bigger. As his claws dug into the grass...he went from oh..oh..oh yeah...shoot the doggies .....shoot the doggies.... to meeeeeeee....fucking....yyyyyooooooowwwwwww!
Crandall slumped over on the ground while Mitsi was spitting. Crandall was utterly satisfied. Mitsi made her last little spit and said,"My turn Crandall." Crandall stretched and said,"How about a nap first?" Mitsi growled...then hissed,"Just like a male...pop your little pal and forget the gal!" Crandall looked down...raised his leg .....grinned and said,"Hey....look Mitsi....you got feathers on my balls."
