Crandall the Cat's Halloween Party

Crandall the cat was sitting on his favorite window sill...Watching Edwin, his human companion decorate the living room and kitchen for a Halloween party. When Edwin pulled a cardboard black cat from the bag and laid it on the coffee table...Crandall gasped and leaped to the table! Crandall meowed and shouted,"What the fuck Edwin...you're decorating with road kill now?" Crandall sniffed the cardboard cat's butt and thought,"Jeese...it smells like the fat ass mail man."

Crandall pushed it a little with his paw and with a mischievous grin...said,"Hey...picket fences must be a breeze for you...ha ha ha....do you chase flat mice?....ha ha ha.....is you name, Matt....ha ha ha .....is your litter box an envelope?...ha ha ha ha ha ha!" Edwin picked up the cardboard cat as Crandall grimaced and said,"Hey...I was talking to it...what a dick!"

Edwin hung the cardboard cat on the wall and Crandall jumped back up on his window sill. All of the sudden Crandall felt Edwin pick him up and headed for the kitchen sink. Crandall thought,"Oh great...a bath!" Edwin wasn't running the water though...to make just that right temperature. Edwin began covering Crandall with goo. Crandall looked up at him...snarled and said,"Hey dumbass....put the shampoo on after I'm wet!"

Edwin never did turn the water on...he just rubbed the goo in and rubbed it with a towel. Crandall was pissed...he looked and saw that both of his front white paws were now orange. He grumbled,"Is this some kind of flea repellent shit?" He jumped off the sink and went straight to the hallway mirror. Crandall froze in disbelief...he meowed and cried,"I am fucking orange all over...except for my black spots....I am fucking orange and black...I look like a fucking Bengal Cow!"

Crandall said to himself,"OK....calm down...stupid ass just made you orange for the party...it will wash off...it will wash off." Crandall moped through the living room and jumped back up on his favorite window sill. After a few hours...the party guests started rolling in.

Crandall watched them.......saying,"Werewolves...boring....Vampires....boring....Frankenstein...boring...Witches.....BORING...oh oh...wait a minute!" A young woman...dressed as a black cat came up on the porch. Crandall purred and said,"Oooooh yeah...now that is a costume!"

Crandall watched her come in and didn't take his eyes off of her. Crandall thought,"Now there is a mate for Edwin!" The woman dressed as a cat saw Crandall....petted his back and said,"What a cute kitty!" Crandall grinned and said,"Kitty my ass....a three inch putter and a bucket of balls aint no kitty lady!"

The party was hopping and Crandall was totally bored. He thought,"Ahh...fuck this...I'm going out...maybe some pussies are hanging in the alley?" Crandall headed out his cat door...through the back yard and into the alley. A couple of kids walked by him and Crandall said,"Ooooh...scary sheets...why do humans dress as ghosts when ghosts are supposed to be fucking invisible?

Crandall walked further down the alley and heard a massive amount of meowing. He had totally forgotten he was orange and black. As he got closer...he could see it was a party...a cat Halloween party. He eased up into the street light....it became silent as all the cats looked at him. Then the male cats busted out laughing. Brutus rolled on the ground and shouted,"Crandall...have you been fucking pumpkins?" The laughter blasted at Crandall as he remembered Edwin had colored him orange. All of the male cats were rolling and laughing but the females were staring at Crandall.

Crandall saw the looks on the females faces...they weren't laughing...it was the same look that Mitsi gave him when she was in heat. After the laughing died down...Crandall asked,"A party huh...why wasn't I told about it?" Brutus looked a little embarrassed and said,"Well...I was supposed to....but you were so busy trying to fuck old Lucy the other night...I just forgot." Crandall thought,"Her name is Lucy.....cool...I fucked a Lucy!"

One of the pussy cats meowed with a sexy tone and said,"Hey Crandall...come join us girls...love the new fur." Crandall got a huge smile on his face...stuck his nose up at the shocked males and proudly walked over to the pussy cats. The males just sat silently and watched as the seven pussy cats meowed, purred and pawed Crandall.

All seven pussy cats began to cheer,"Crandall, Crandall he's our male.....he can raise our every tail!" Crandall had an awww shucks look on his face as all seven pussy cats lined up and raised their behinds for him. Crandall thought to himself,"Oh thank you Bast (the Egyptian cat Goddess)...thank you...thank you!" Crandall mounted the first pussy cat...it was Mitsy...she looked around at him and said,"Remember Crandall...further below the tail." Crandall smiled and said,"Don't worry...I'll hit the right spot this time."

Crandall went right down the line...hopping and humping! The pussy cats were all purring, meowing and moaning Crandall's name. The male cats watched with excruciating disappointment on their faces as Brutus said,"He's fucking orange...hell...I'm yellow...what the fuck does he have that I don't? One of the Tom cats said,"Look at that dick...it's like a fifth leg...that's what he's got." The Tom cats grumbled but were entertained with Crandall's antics. Crandall just kept going up and down the line.

When Crandall was finally finished...all of the pussy cats rolled on the ground and purred like kittens. Crandall looked at the males and arrogantly said,"Well boys...looks like I took care of all the business...time for me to split!" As Crandall walked away...all of the pussy cats meowed and blew him kisses from their paws. Crandall pranced home...he was the cat's ass...the cat's meow...he....was...the...cat!

He went trough his cat door and noticed the party was over except for Edwin was humping on the lady with the cat costume. They were on the couch. Crandall jumped up on the couch arm and then to his window sill. He looked down at Edwin and said,"Edwin...one...Crandall...seven....who's da cat....who's da fucking cat?"