She kept having the same dream over and over, ever since childhood. Louise was nineteen years old now...she was still dreaming about the dirty angel. I would sit back in my chair and observe this beautiful young woman fall to pieces. I was her Psychiatrist and I couldn't help her at all.
I searched through my books and went through the files in my mind of a hundred lectures. Louise had wonderful parents so it wasn't any kind of abuse. She couldn't remember any traumatic event in her life except when her cat had eaten her mother's bird. She was a very intelligent person with above average grades in high school and college.
Louise could see the dirty angel's face in her dreams...it was a face of terror. The angel would hover over her as she screamed until the darkness came. Tears always came when she got to the word, "Darkness." I even tried hypnotic therapy through a trusted colleague of mine. He took her to the point of her dream where the dirty angel appeared...she began crying and woke from the trance.
When Louise cried...I found it extremely difficult not to get emotionally involved by giving her a hug. She was like a little girl who was lost in a storm. The dark circles under her blue eyes were a sure sign that she was suffering from sleep deprivation. I prescribed light sedatives and had her read uplifting stories from selected books before she went to sleep.
During her last appointment...she trembled as she told me her thoughts. She believed that God was punishing her or allowing her to be punished. She was having suicidal thoughts but battled them with her ambition to make a difference in the world. Louise was becoming unstable. I had to make the decision to admit her to a good psychiatric facility.
The local mental health clinic was a good place to start....or at least I thought so. Within a week, Louise had packed her bags and went back home. She told me that there was more insanity within the staff than in the patients. She became very irritated when they would wake her up to give her a sleeping pill.
Louise had stopped coming for her office visits....six months had passed. I called her mother but Louise never returned my calls. Her mother later told me that Louise had transferred to a college on the west coast.
I got a package from Louise last week...a large white envelope. I pulled out the enclosures and read her note...it said,"Dear Dr. Russell...thank you so much for trying to help me and you did help me. I needed someone to listen...I haven't had the dirty angel dream in months...I think the picture and the news article will explain why......sincerely, Louise."
I flipped over the article and there was the dirty angel. A picture of a Los Angeles Fireman covered in ashes...holding Louise...wrapped in a white blanket. The headline read,"Dirty Angel Saves Student From Fire In Apartment."
