The "F" Word

Standing there in the kitchen...I was five years old...listening to my mom and dad.

Mom......"He said the "F" word...right out loud he did!"
Dad......."Are you sure?"
Mom......"I know the "F" word when I hear it!"
Dad...mumbling....."I wish we could do it when you hear it."
Mom......."What...I heard that!"
Dad........"Nothing...back to the boy...so he said the "F" word?"
Mom......"Yes....and I want to know where he learned it!"
Dad......."Probably at school."
Mom......"He's in Kindergarten for goodness sakes!"
Dad....... "Well...where else would he have heard it?"
Mom......"Um...let me see...maybe while you were working on the car last week?"
Dad......."I busted my knuckles....it hurt dammit!"
Mom......"See...there you go...using vulgar language in front of him!"
Dad knelt down in front of me and softly asked,"Where did you hear that word...son?"

I shouted....."Fuck....whacker...whacker!"

Mom...nearly fainting.... said,"See...I told you!"
Dad looked at her with anger and said,"Who's been whacking him for saying fuck?"
Mom......"Nobody....jeezy petes...you just said it!"
Dad........"Said what?"
Mom......"The "F" word!"
Dad......."So...are you going to whack me for saying fuck too?"
Mom....after stomping her foot....."I never whacked him for saying FUCK!"
Dad......."Then what the fuck is the problem?
Mom......"Never mind!"
As they stared each other down...I sat on the floor and continued playing with my farm toys.

I was seven years old when I finally learned how to say "Truck" and "Tractor" right.