Bobba Fred...."Sissy May...come look...that stupid cat a yorn is humpin on my work boot again....dammit...how can I look the boys in the eye knowing that cat has fornicated my footwear!"
Sissy May....."Oh...he aint hurtin nothin'.....he's just practicin' for that new pussy cat.... moved in three trailers down... cats cain't be homosexual!"
Bobba Fred...."Then...why...aint...he...humpin' your...sneekers?....I told you and told you to not name that cat "Pussy Tom"!.....It's one a them Floydian problems....you know that Sifichiatrist that said all that sex stuff about sons hatin' their daddys cause of momma bein' hot! That cat.. IS.. queer as a football bat!"
Sissy May....."You always got to throw that analizin' stuff out...showin' off that GED that you hold over me every time we have an argument!.....My cat aint as queer as a football bat...and that is that!"
Bobba Fred...."Then how come he meeows with a lisp....It's more like thssmeeow!...explain that one little woman!"
Sissy May...."You did that dumbass....if you remember...Mr. GE..f***in' D....it was you that smashed his mouth when you flung open the Ranchero door because you dropped a cigarette on your brain!"
Bobba Fred....."Was not on my head....it was burnin' my little Bishop off....hell that was two months ago....that cat's been humpin' my boot for a year!...I caught him one time sprawled out like a starfish on my tighty whities...just a few days ago."
Sissy May.....(giggled)...."maybe he was done with business.....he's just like you....a studly starfish!"
Bobba Fred...."That cat aint like me....it's fornicatin' the whole damn trailer...I caint even eat a f***in' Twinkie without that cat givin' me a wanton look!...Face it Sissy May...your Pussy Tom is gay!....Just look at him....goin' to town on that boot.....he done scooted it half way cross the carpet!"
Sissy May..."Pussy Tom..is...not...gay!....maybe...just maybey....Pussy Tom is gettin' a sense of feminenetee... ora... from your boot....just maybe ...he thinks that boot is womanly....just maybe....you are releasin' female whoremoans from your own damn stinky feet!"
Bobba Fred...."MY...FEET...AINT...GOT...NO...WHOREMOANS!"
Sissy May..."Whoremoans...whoremoans...Bobba Fred's got whoremoans!"
Bobba Fred...."Shut up Sissy May!....I knew you would turn this round on me....Sigman Floyd said that women do that when they caint match a man's interect....who quit school in the seventh grade cause she was knocked up....who caint even remember which way a lug nut turns....who don't have a GED?"
Sissy May...."Who got me knocked up when I was twelve.....who promised me that we would have a three seat bass boat with an 80 horse Evinrude...we would have a double wide with a bay f***in' window...we would have a put put golf course in the back yard! (she is up in his face) and what did I get....a tin rowboat with ping pong paddles tied on mop sticks....a single wide that when we have a whole 2 1/2 minutes of sex....the damn paneling falls off and hits my ass....and three chuck holes in the g****mn parking lot...aint a golf course!"
Bobba Fred...."I'm sorry baby....this gay cat thing just got me flustered...look at the cute little fella....yip he's done....good thing them boots is wet proof...forgive me sweetie?....I sure love your kisses....think we might...uh...uh...you know?"
Sissy May....."You duct tape the paneling honey....I'll turn on cartoons for the kids!"
Comments
Tornado | June 4, 2010 - 16:44
Damn!Larkin Williamson, you done writ my life. I swear. It's like we live in the same trailer park. Next time, if'n the trailer ain't rockin', come a knockin'. Enjoyed the peek behind the curtain.
Larkin Williamson | June 4, 2010 - 16:57
LOL...thanks Tornado....grinning...Tornadoes and trailer parks aint a good match. :)
Tornado | June 4, 2010 - 21:45
You know, you could be on to something! Why you'd think sneaking out of winders at 2 am was some kind a crime or sumpin. But hey, I'd like to stay an chew the fat, but the pawn shop closes at 6 and it being Friday evening and all....dude you need to make this a series or at least a family reunion report. Laaaaater!